The Jim Henson Company has had a few hits on their hands in recent years between Fraggle Rock: Back to the Rock, The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance, and their ongoing efforts with Labyrinth and the Jim Henson name. With all this under their belt, it’s high time they capitalize with some high-quality merchandise. And it seems the Powers That Be agree with us, because The Henson Company has just announced a new batch of merch for us to buy and collect and cherish forever and ever.
Take a look at all the new offerings from The Henson Company below!
Life-Sized Radish Car
Whoopie! Everyone has wanted to shout that while racing down the highway in a convertible radish car. And now you can. This once in a lifetime experience comes courtesy of our friends at the Henson Company and McDonald’s. Tying into the eco-conscious messaging of Back to the Rock, they bring you the all-natural, 100% compostable, renewable energy powered radish car. Get out of the way Tesla, not only was this car built from first principles, it was designed by creatures whose caves aren’t of their own making. Be the envy of the neighborhood when you park this sweet treat in your driveway. Just don’t call it a lemon!
$53,000 MSRP
Pre-Holed Washtub
Have you ever tried to put a hole in your washtub to win a talent contest, but Ma’s already hocked the tool chest? The good folks at The Jim Henson Company have you covered with an authentic Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas-inspired pre-holed washtub! Hand-crafted by Turkish artisan Nisan Bir, this five-gallon washtub* is all ready to be converted into a bass. With this beauty, you’ll have that down payment on a used piano in no time. C’mon, Pa would buy a pre-holed washtub!
*For musical purposes only, not approved for actual washing.
$50.00 split four ways
Labyrinth: The Game
Our friends at The Jim Henson Company have been developing the perfect game based on the classic film Labyrinth for years. From what we understand, they’ve been toiling and testing, trying to come up with the perfect game to properly embody the feeling of being lost in the Goblin King’s realm. But then someone must’ve realized that there’s already a Labyrinth game, and it was perfected four decades before the movie even came out. So wouldn’t it be easier to just buy up a bunch of these games and then slap the Labyrinth logo on them. They’re better now!
$15.99, with extra marble
Essence of Gelfling
Feeling sluggish? Losing your vitality as your amoral behavior quickly ages you? Tell Father Time to shove it with your own bottle of Essence of Gelfling! This is guaranteed to put pep in your step and make you feel like the strong, powerful Skeksis you are. Who cares if it’s unsustainable? If you kill all the Gelfling, you can’t hear them complain! Nevermind that sound of walking and humming in the distance, they’ll never catch up to you. The Skeksis will rule forever!
$82.00
Henson Brand Elephant Paint
Sometimes, when you’re exploring humanity’s relationship with time and skewering social conventions in a fast-paced collage of imagery, visual gags and jazz drumming, you’re just going to have to paint an elephant. And shouldn’t that elephant enjoy the rich, vibrant color of Jim Henson brand elephant paint? With a warm pink hue like this, they’ll be sure to enhance the rich metaphor of whatever the hell this nonsense is.
Henson Company Fraggle Rock Replica
It’s the titular rock from Fraggle Rock! Haven’t you always wondered what the rock was? Now you can own a replica for yourself. Not a fan of Fraggle Rock? Don’t worry, the Henson Company is also selling this product as a Dark Crystal. Sure, it’s only slightly dark, and it’s not much of a crystal, but they just wanted to cover all their bases.
$Fraggle.pebble
