The Jim Henson Hour
Science Fiction, Part 3:
My Dinner with Codzilla
Cast: Jim Henson (Kermit), Dave Goelz (Digit), Kevin Clash (Codzilla), Jerry Nelson (Announcer).
| Kermit
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Whoa, what an opening! Louie, how’d you like it?
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| Louie
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[ reading a magazine ] What? Oh — I loved it. Now, if you’ll excuse me… I have to get ready for my number.
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| [ Louie pulls a curtain across his monitor. ]
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| Kermit
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Mm. Okay. Digit — are you still picking up television signals from the Andromeda Galaxy?
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| Digit
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Sssh, Kermit! The glinstroff is loose! Oh, Lord, he’s picking up the cupcakes! DON’T OPEN THE DOOR!
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| Kermit
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Must be some sort of intergalactic horror movie.
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| Digit
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Oh, no — don’t do THAT!
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| Kermit
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What’d they DO? What’d they DO?
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| Digit
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They cut to commercial! Don’t you just HATE that?
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| Kermit
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Good grief.
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| [ The curtain pulls back. ]
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| Kermit
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Oh, look — it’s our guest star, Louie Anderson! Now here’s something we can actually see!
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[ On the screen, Louie is having dinner in a fancy restaurant — with an enormous killer lizard. ]
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| Louie
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Geez, I didn’t expect such an elegant place — no, I was surprised that they made you put on that tie. I know how you resent that sort of thing. Did it upset you?
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| Codzilla
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GRRR-AAAAARRRRR-RRRR!
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| Annc
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Coming to a specially selected theater near you — Louie Anderson’s remake of a film classic: My Dinner with Codzilla!
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| Louie
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I really admire the way you can express yourself so freely. I mean, look at me, here, right now. I really wanted this steak well done. But I have to go through this whole involved mental process, just to bring myself to send something back!
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| [ Codzilla growls and breathes fire on Louie’s steak. ]
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| Louie
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Oh, thanks… but, see? That’s what I mean. You can act on your impulses. While I sit here, I’ve got my mother’s voice in my head, saying: Hey — what about your table manners? I mean, do you ever have that kind of inner conflict when you’re stomping down cities?
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| [ Codzilla growls and tears a chunk out of the wall. ]
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| Louie
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This was a four-star restaurant… I think you just knocked it down to two. That’s what I admire about you. You’re so, I don’t know… focused. You know what you want, and you go after it. Or am I just playing into my need to see you that way?
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| [ Codzilla crashes through the roof, showering Louie with plaster. ]
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| Annc
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Perplexing — provocative — challenging: My Dinner with Codzilla.
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| [ Louie looks at the check. ]
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| Louie
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Let’s see… now, you had Tokyo, right?
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| [ Codzilla smashes his way out of the restaurant. ]
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| Kermit
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Hmm. Boy, there’s a movie to keep an eye out for.
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