Thog is a lovable blue Muppet monster. He shouldn’t be confused with Grover, who is also a blue Muppet monster. And yet, nobody will ever have to say “Remember to not confuse Thog with Grover!” You know why? Because Grover is not very big… but Thog is very big.
I mean, really. He’s SO big.
Look at him next to Mia Farrow.
He’s a lot bigger than she is!
Now look at him next to Kaye Ballard.
He’s a lot bigger than her too! Just his nose alone is way bigger than her entire head.
Actually… Does Thog have a nose? Or is that a beak? Or an upper lip? [Note to self: Write a future “Fluff Friday” about the part of Thog’s face above his lower jaw.]
Thog first appeared in The Great Santa Claus Switch, where he had a counterpart named Thig.
Thig was really big. In fact, the name “Thig” rhymes with “big.” But he still wasn’t as big as Thog! Thig would have to wear high heels to be as tall as Thog.
Wikipedia tells me that the tallest player currently in the NBA is Tacko Fall of the Boston Celtics, who is 7’5″.
He’s really tall!
Meanwhile, according to Muppet Wiki (which cites the old Henson.com website), the original Thog puppet was 9’6″ tall. Holy guacamole! That means Thog is a full two feet taller than the tallest basketball man! One of those NBA teams should recruit Thog immediately!
Although… he probably can’t run very fast. And it’s possible he can’t jump at all. And I don’t know if he even likes basketball.
So probably he should be recruited by the NFL instead. I don’t actually know the rules of football, but it seems to me a lot of the game involves trying to knock people down, and Thog would probably be pretty good at knocking people down. And it would be hard to knock Thog down.
Because he’s SO big!
On The Muppet Show, Thog did a sketch with Harvey Korman, who was well-known for doing scenes with Tim Conway on The Carol Burnett Show. When you Google “tim conway height,” Google tells you Tim Conway was 5 feet, 6 inches tall.
Thog is as tall as 1.72 Tim Conways! Do you know what this means? Well, I have no idea. I was hoping you would.
And that’s not even taking width into account! For some odd reason, I can’t find any data online about how wide Thog is or how wide Tim Conway was, but I bet Thog is at least 1.32 Tim Conways wide.
Why can’t I find any data online about how wide Tim Conway was? There should be an Internet Celebrity Width Database.
Hey, imagine this: What if it was somebody’s birthday and Thog was going to surprise them by jumping out of their cake and dancing? That cake would have to be HUGE. Because Thog is SO big!
Or imagine this: What if Thog jumped in a swimming pool full of people? He might make a splash so big all the water and people would get displaced! Because Thog is SO big!
You know those nature documentaries where they’re like “A blue whale has to eat five thousand fish every day to survive.” How much do you think Thog would have to eat every day to survive? Do you think he eats five thousand fish?
Muppet Wiki’s article on Thog also says that when he was rebuilt for the movie The Muppets, he was even bigger than before, by a couple feet. Just think about that.
And think about the Muppet Show number where Loretta Swit sings “I Feel the Earth Move” while a giant Thog stomps around outside.
WHAT?! He’s bigger than ever! Can Thog control his size? Could he make himself bigger than Godzilla? Could he make himself bigger than the whole world? Could he make himself so big that he could EAT the world?
Man, Thog is SO big.
Thanks as always to Muppet Wiki for images! Click here to make the “What’s a Tim Conway” joke from The Simpsons on the Tough Pigs forum!
by Ryan Roe – Ryan@ToughPigs.com