The time has come to answer that question that has baffled mankind through the ages, namely; Does Kermit? The answer is… Complicated!
As you may know, Kermit and Piggy did one of those Wired Autocomplete interviews last year, which is something I definitely knew when I started writing this article, and didn’t cause me to panic halfway though. But they never went though ‘Does Kermit’, so I decided to type that in and find out what people were asking about our favorite amphibian. And the results were… interesting. There’s some very normal, good questions in there. Then there’s the last question.
Yeah. We’ll get to that. Sing it with me! One of these things is not like the other… Now for, though:
Question 1: Does Kermit love Miss Piggy?
Oooh, good first question! That’s a complicated answer. Throughout the franchise’s history, Piggy and Kermit have been off and on. Kermit had very little interest in her during The Muppet Show days, his go-to explanation being ‘We have a professional relationship. I think we’re professionals, she thinks we’re in a relationship’, which is a solid gag. Yet their film roles often had them flirting and becoming an item, which then transitioned over to their other TV roles and their ‘real’ selves – the ones in interviews, etc. At the end of the 2015 series, Kermit told Miss Piggy he loved her, and she responded by saying she felt the same but it was complicated. Then the show got cancelled, and we never got the resolution. I believe, in whatever the Muppet canon is at time of writing, Kermit and Piggy are still seperated. But who knows how much longer that’ll last?
Question 2: Does Kermit have a son?
No, Kermit is not a father, however we have seen what his children with Miss Piggy could potentially look like during ‘Something So Right’ in Muppets Most Wanted. Spoilers: Terrifying.
Question 3: Does Kermit the Frog have a new girlfriend?
Kermit had a new girlfriend named Denise in the 2015 series, however she broke it off with him because she suspected he still loved Piggy (see Question 1 above). Denise has not been seen since, yet I seem to recall an interview last year where Kermit implied he was still in contact with her, in a flirty way. I could be wrong though. So, Kermit hasn’t got a new girlfriend that he’s public with. (It has just dawned on me that I wrote that about a fictional frog. What am I doing with my life?)
Question 4: Does Kermit have teeth?
Kermit’s puppet has no visible teeth, however they have added teeth to him on four different occassions; Twice on The Muppet Show, and twice on Sesame Street. He also once responded to me on Twitter claiming he has no teeth because of a bike riding accident, which is hilarious because a) it’s just a fun gag, and b) an hour before this tweet, I’d been joking with the author of it about Kermit’s lack of teeth, meaning they had used Kermit’s Twitter to make a call back.
Question 5: Does Kermit have a brother?
Kermit has, at last count, 3,284 siblings, so statistically, one of them has to be a man. Fozzie played his brother in The Great Muppet Caper, but that’s nothing official. We’re not sure if Robin is the son of Kermit’s brother or sister.
Question 6: Does Kermit the Frog have an Oscar?
Outrageously, no! Kermit’s song ‘Rainbow Connection’ was nominated for an Academy Award in 1980, which Kermit performed live during the ceremony. He’s also attended the Oscars many times. But he has never won, which is ludicrous, because he deserves many of them.
Question 7: Does Kermit the Frog have teeth?
See Question 4.
Question 8: Does Kermit live on Sesame Street?
I believe it’s implied that Kermit once lived on Sesame Street, but has since moved. According to Muppet Wiki, Kermit has eight homes, although one is his home in Muppet Chrtistmas Carol, one is his swamp, and the other is his family home. This leaves him with five houses, including a cabin, his home in Los Angeles seen in the 2015 series, and his mansion from the 2011 film The Muppets. It stands to reason that Kermit may have a holiday home in New York on Sesame Street, or at least close by.
Question 9: Does Kermit have a child?
See Question 2. Any excuse to share this image again.
Question 10: Does Kermit the Frog have a drug problem?
This question caused me to type it into Google, just to see what the heck it was referring to. My assumption was some SNL or Family Guy joke, but no. There seems to be a faction of the internet who have a created a whole arc about Kermit having a drug problem. I don’t understand why, but comedy is subjective, so I guess we’ll just pretend that side of the Internet doesn’t exist, which I’ve learnt is wise when you come across weird Muppet stuff online.
Click here to demand an Oscar for Kermit on the ToughPigs forum!
By Jarrod Fairclough – Jarrod@ToughPigs.com