Breaking News

Part 8: The Poor Little Shoemaker

Cast: Jim Henson (Kermit),Frank Oz (Shoemaker), Caroll Spinney (Squeaky), Jerry Nelson (Sneaky, Announcer), Richard Hunt (Leaky), Marilyn Sokol (Shoemaker’s Wife).mnews52

Announcer


We take you now to Kermit the Frog with another fast-breaking news story!
Kermit


Hello, hello, this is Green Frog, calling CTW Central, do you read me? Hello? Hello, ten-four! Oh! Uh. Hi ho, this is Kermit the Frog, speaking to you from the cottage of the Poor Little Shoemaker and his wife. Now, as you recall, the Poor Little Shoemaker used up all his leather to make his last pair of shoes, and now he has no more leather, and no more shoes.
[ The upstairs door opens, and we see the Shoemaker’s shadow. ]
Shoemaker


Hey, will ya keep it down, I’m tryin’ ta SLEEP up here!
Kermit


I’m sorry about that!
Shoemaker


Awright!
Kermit


Okay!
Shoemaker


Okay! [ He slams the door. ]
Kermit
Hmm. Very touchy. In any case, uh — I think somebody is coming in here now, let’s see whom it is.mnews53
[ The front door opens, and the Three Elves enter. ]
Kermit


Ah ha! Pardon me, uh, this is the cottage of the Poor Little Shoemaker, uh, can I ask whom you are?
Squeaky


Gee, guys, look! It’s Kermit the Frog, from Sesame Street News!
Kermit


In person.
Squeaky


Gee, we watch you every night!
Kermit


Oh, good.
Elves


Yeah, yeah!
Squeaky


Oh, uh. We’re elves. And I’m Squeaky!
Sneaky


I’m Sneaky!
Leaky


And I’m Leaky.
Kermit


Uh huh, well, I’m sorry to hear that, but I’ve heard of you elves, you come to people’s houses in the middle of the night and help them out, is that right?
Squeaky


You got it, frog! When they wake up in the morning, there’s presents from us!
Kermit


Ah!
Squeaky


Hey — we oughta bring them on in here.
Elves


Right! Yeah.
Kermit
Well, viewers, you heard it, right from the elves’ mouths — these elves are going to work all night, and when the Poor Little Shoemaker wakes up in the morning, he’s gonna have a whole bunch of new shoes to sell. Ah, let’s watch — here comes the first shoe now!

mnews54

[ Sneaky enters, struggling with a heavy cauldron. ]
Kermit


Pardon me, uh, Squeaky?
Sneaky


I’m Sneaky.
Kermit


Oh, Sneaky, I forgot, uh — what is this thing, here?
Sneaky


It’s STEW! What’s it look like, a trampoline?
Kermit


Stew? No, wait a second, you’re supposed to bring a SHOE! Now, stew rhymes with shoe, but you’re supposed to bring a SHOE!mnews55
[ As Kermit is talking to Sneaky, Leaky comes up behind him and accidentally smacks him with an inflatable canoe. ]
Leaky


Uh… sorry about that…
Kermit


Uh, listen, what is this? This is a CANOE!
Leaky


Yeah.
Kermit


Now, canoe also rhymes with shoe, but you’re supposed to bring a SHOE, not a canoe! Uh, listen, Squeaky…
Leaky


No, no, I’m Leaky. This is my canoe.
Kermit


… A leaky canoe?
Leaky


Yeah.
Kermit
Phew…

mnews56

[ Squeaky enters, carrying a stuffed kangaroo. ]
Kermit


Now, wait a minute! That’s a KANGAROO! Now, kangaroo also rhymes with shoe, but you guys are supposed to bring SHOES, not stews and canoes and kangaroos! Come on now!
[ All the shouting wakes up the Shoemaker and his wife, who come down onto the stairs. ]
Shoemaker


Awright — what is going ON down here? Can’t a man and his wife get some sleep? What is this?
Wife


Oh, look, Poor Little Old Shoemaker husband, dear! It’s the ELVES!
Shoemaker


Ah!
Kermit


Yeah, there seems to be some sort of a problem… they were supposed to bring you shoes, but instead they brought you, uh…
Wife


Look, stew! Ah, and a canoe! Oh! And a darling kangaroo!
[ The Elves giggle proudly. ]
Kermit


Yeah, but you don’t understand… you see, the, uh…
Shoemaker
Hey, Squeaky! Hey, all this stuff looks terrific! This is wonderful!

mnews57

Kermit


Wait a second… You know these guys?
Wife


Oh, sure… Last time, they brought us some glue, and a honeydew, and a tube of shampoo… oh, yeah, and a case of the flu…
Shoemaker


Yeah, yeah!
Kermit


Yeah, but you still don’t have any leather, and you don’t have any shoes. What about your shoe business?
Shoemaker
Well, to tell you the truth, frog, I was never good at the shoe business. I think maybe I’ll be a lawyer. Hey, that’s it! I’ll be a lawyer! Okay, line up for stew, guys!mnews58
[ Kermit watches as everyone lines up for stew. ]
Wife


All right, I’ll get bowls!
Shoemaker


Here we go!
Kermit


Well, uh… this is Kermit the Frog, speaking to you from the cottage of the Poor Little, uh, Shoemaker, or the Poor Little Lawyer, and, uh…
Shoemaker


You’re trespassing!
Kermit


Yeah… returning you to your regularly scheduled program.
Shoemaker


Get outta my house, frog!
Kermit


Yes, there’s no business like shoe business, folks.
[ Kermit leaves, frustrated. ]

mnews59

by Danny Horn

Pin It on Pinterest