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Part 6: The Beautiful Princess

Cast: Jim Henson (Kermit), Jerry Nelson (Beautiful Princess, Orange #1, Announcer), Richard Hunt (Blue, Purple #1, Green #2), Frank Oz (Green #1, Orange #2, Purple #2).mnews37

Anncr


We take you now to Kermit the Frog for another fast-breaking news story!
Kermit


Hi ho, this is Kermit the Frog, speaking to you from the Beautiful Princess’ palace, where the story is that today she is going to choose from among her loyal subjects. She’s going to choose one of them to be her prince.
[ A small group of eager subjects squabble in the background. ]
Kermit


And we are waiting now for the Beautiful Princess to make her appearance, here… [ fanfare ] I think I hear her coming now.
[ The Princess floats in. The subjects bow. ]
Kermit Awww, look at that, that’s the Beautiful Princess!mnews38
Kermit


Excuse me, Beautiful Princess, Kermit the Frog here, Sesame Street News, I wonder if you could just answer a couple of questions for our viewers out there…
Princess


Certainly, little froggie.
Kermit


Do you know which of your subjects you’re going to choose to be your prince?
Princess


Well, I don’t know, but I can give you a clue…
Subjects


Clues! Clues…
Kermit


She’s going to give us a clue! Oh, wonderful. Just speak into the microphone… What is the clue?
Princess Ahem. He has bulgy eyes.mnews39
Blue


Bulgy eyes! I have bulgy eyes.
Green 1


Yeah, I have bulgy eyes too. Yeah.
Orange 1


Aw. That lets me out. [ He exits. ]
Purple 1


Yeah, well, me too. I don’t have bulgy eyes. I might as well leave. [ He exits. ]
Kermit


Uh huh… Well, a couple of people who don’t have bulgy eyes just left back there, Princess…
Princess Sorry, fellas!mnews40
Kermit


Can you tell us anything else about him?
Princess


Well, he has a funny voice.
Kermit


A funny voice…
Purple 2


Oh! I have a funny voice!
Blue


Funny voice! Ho ho! Yeah, mine’s pretty funny!
Green 1


Yeah, but I don’t have a funny voice… [ He exits. ]
Green 2


I’m afraid, uh, mine’s not too funny either, so, uh… [ He exits. ]
Kermit Okay, well, look at that, a couple more people who did not have funny voices just left…mnews41
Kermit


What else can you tell us about the prince?
Princess


Well, I can tell you that he has such small ears that you can hardly see them.
Kermit


Small ears, huh?
Orange 2


Well, ha ha! Heh!
Purple 2


Well… um… I have big ears…
Blue


You’re tellin’ ME!
Purple 2


That lets me out, huh? Okay, well, it was nice being here… [ He exits. ]
Blue


So long!
Kermit


Well, uh… there again, okay, one more person there with big ears just left, uh, what else can you tell us about him, Princess?
Princess


He’s wearing a hat and coat.
Blue


Hey! A hat and coat!
Kermit


A hat and coat…
Blue


I’M wearing a hat and coat! Heh heh heh! It’s ME!
Orange 2


Oh… I’m not wearing a hat or coat. I guess it’s not me.
Blue


It’s not!
Orange 2


I’d better leave. [ He exits. ]
Blue Sorry! [ Excited, Blue rushes to the Princess’ side. ]mnews42
Kermit


Well, uh, listen, Princess, we’re narrowing the field down.
Blue


Ho ho! It’s me, right?
Kermit


There’s almost nobody left here… Is there anything else you can tell us about him?
Princess


Just one more thing.
Kermit


Oh, what’s that?
Blue


What’s that?
Princess He’s a frog.mnews43
Blue


… Oh. Oh, well. Guess I’m outta luck, I, uh… thought I had a chance for a minute there, I… sorry.
Kermit


Okay, well, another person left there who isn’t a frog, we’ll just see who’s left here, uh… um… there’s nobody left here, uh… wait a minute. I’M a frog.
Princess


I know. I read in a book that if a Princess kisses a frog, he turns into a handsome prince!
Kermit


Yeah, but, uh, wait a minute…
Princess And here I go!mnews44
[ The Princess kisses Kermit. There’s a puff of smoke… ]
Kermit


Well, as you can see, I’m not about to change into any handsome prince, but, uh…
[ Kermit turns, and finds that the Princess has turned into an orange frog. ]
Princess


Needeep! Needeep.
Kermit


Holy cow! Uh… listen, uh… you’re a rather attractive young frog there, uh, Princess… Ahem. Wanna go to the hop?
Princess


Okay!
Kermit


Ah! C’mon.
Princess


Mmm. [ Kermit and the frog Princess leave together. ]mnews45

by Danny Horn

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