Goodmorning2Part Seven : Room Service!
Kermit and Miss Piggy
onGood Morning America
, February 1988
with Joan Lunden

Joan


Tomorrow is the special day for sweethearts everywhere… So what better way to celebrate than with The Couple of The Eighties? Yes, joining me now — the Sean Penn and Madonna of the Muppet world…
Kermit


The what?
Joan


Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy. It’s nice to have you both with us!
Piggy


Hello, Joan dear.
Kermit


Oh, thank you, Joan. It’s very nice to be here.
Joan


Oh! And look at you… What a dress she has here! [ Piggy is wearing a very Couple of the Eighties pink and lime outfit. ]
Kermit


Yes, it’s very special.
Piggy


Could I have a close-up of the hat, please?
Joan


The hat’s wonderful. I love…
Piggy


There’s little kissys on the hat here.
Joan


Little kissys on the hat.
Kermit


Is that real candy?
Piggy


Yeah, don’t touch it. I’m gonna eat it later.
Joan


It’s a very beautiful outfit.
Piggy


Thank you very much, Joanie. You look, uh, attractive too.
Kermit


Sure. It’s a nice outfit, Joan.
Joan


Well, thank you, Kermit.
Kermit


Yes, you look very pretty today.
Piggy


Yes…
Joan


Thank you! Do you two have special plans for Valentine’s Day?
Piggy


Yes, they’re personal.
Kermit


Um… what?
Joan


They’re personal?
Piggy


Personal.
Kermit Oh, yeah. They’re personal.
Joan


Personal.
Kermit


Mmmm.
Joan


Hmm.
Piggy


Yes. We plan to have a nice little… evening.
Joan


A romantic evening?
Piggy


Mmm hmm.
Joan


What’s your idea of a romantic evening?
Piggy


Well, first of all — two of us, as opposed to three.
Joan


Okay.
Piggy


That’s for starters. And, well, Kermit, as a frog, likes to be in surroundings that he’s used to.
Kermit


Yes.
Joan


Like water?
Piggy I’m not talking about a swamp… I mean, he’s used to dark surroundings, which I believe are romantic.
Joan


Dark surroundings…
Piggy


Frogs are used to that.
Joan


Is he romantic?
Kermit


Uh… Do we have to talk about stuff like this?
Piggy


Trust me, it’s love!
Kermit


It’s a professional relationship. You know.
Piggy


I knew it.
Joan


All right, all right. This brings up a subject… There seems to be some question about your status right now.
Piggy


There is no status.
Kermit


That’s true. It’s a status of nothing.
Joan


I thought you got married.
Piggy


No, the status… There’s no status. There’s just love.
Joan


Just love.
Kermit


Uh, yes. Uh. Actually, why don’t we change the subject? Why don’t we talk about something else?
Joan


I’d like to know what it was about Miss Piggy that you originally fell for. What are her qualities?
Piggy


Yeah!
Kermit


Well. She’s a very powerful lady. Y’know. I mean, she’s, uh, she’s… someone you don’t tangle with, so to speak. You see. And this is one of her most attractive parts, I think.
Joan


She has a unique personality. Unique qualities.
Piggy


But Kermie? Kermie?
Kermit


Yes, Miss Piggy.
Piggy


What about, you know, the other things?
Kermit


Oh. Well. Uh.
Piggy


About the kissy-kissies? And the huggy-wuggies?
Kermit


Yes. She’s. Yes, anything you say. It’s fine.
Piggy


He talks like that in public, because he’s shy.
Kermit


Mmmm.
Piggy


In person… watch out!
Joan


Yeah?
Kermit


That’s right. That’s what I was going to say. You just watch out. That’s why… Mmmm.
Piggy


We’re talking GANGBUSTERS!
Joan


What is it about…
Piggy


We’re talking, y’know, like, three days! We’re talking, like, you know? Like, ROOM SERVICE! Look out!
Joan


Tell us something about Miss Piggy that she would just die if we all knew.
Kermit


Well. Uh.
Piggy


Or somebody else’ll die if you all know.
Kermit


Well, she’s an interesting sight in lingerie. I must say that. I mean. Uh, yes.
Piggy


Awww, Kermie. Isn’t that sweet.
Joan


Does she wear real feminine, frilly stuff?
Kermit


It’s, uh, she has all kinds of things with buckles and snaps, and stuff… It’s really just…
Piggy


Are you insinuating that I wear a girdle?
Kermit


No, I don’t know what that stuff is.
Joan


And I’m not about to take a guess! Tell us something — what did you fall in love with? What are the qualities that you fell in love with, with Kermit?
Piggy


Well, to begin with… Flippers.
Joan


Flippers?
Piggy


Flippers. Number one. Then, after Flippers, I’d say Green. And then there’s that certain… well, in Spanish, you say, je ne sais quoi.
Joan


Or joie de vivre.
Kermit


That’s Spanish?
Piggy


Joie de viv-ra
Joan


That’s a good one.
Piggy


… about a frog. It’s something that only pigs could understand.
Joan


Okay. I’ll buy that.
Piggy


You have to.
Joan


I don’t have any other choice. You two have a wonderfully romantic day tomorrow.
Piggy


Don’t touch him!
Kermit


Oh, thank you.
Joan


[ laughs ] Excuse me, Miss Piggy.
Piggy


That’s all right.
Kermit


It’s okay.
Piggy


Thank you. Happy Valentine’s Day.
Joan


To you, too.
Kermit


And Happy Valentine’s Day out there!
Piggy


To all of vous. Kissy kissy!
Joan


We’ll be back.
Piggy


We’ll be back. Not us. Her.
Kermit


I won’t…

by Danny Horn

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