Mouse Movie Mania!

By Ryan Roe

There was a big announcement this week regarding our favorite Italian puppet mouse, and it has all of us at Tough Pigs -- and Topo Gigio fans all over the wacky, wild world wide web -- more excited than a honey salesman at a bear convention.  Various reputable sources (including Topo Gigio Central and the Topo Gigio Newsflash) are reporting that the-powers-that-be have commissioned a script for a brand-new Topo Gigio feature film! 

 

Surprisingly, the script will be written by actor Seth Rogen of Knocked Up fame.  Some fans are worried that Rogen will take the project too far in an "edgy" direction -- just look at what last year's Judd Apatow-produced Howdy Doody Loses His Virginity did to a beloved franchise.  But this could be good... he is a popular young Hollywood up-and-comer, and he might just be able to give the ol' mouse the contemporary vibe he needs to connect with today’s audiences.  Rogen was recently quoted in Variety as saying:

 

"I'm writing a new Topo Gigio movie."

 

We haven't had a new Topo film since 2004's direct-to-DVD Topo Gigio's Brothers Karamazov, so yeah, this is cause for about 31 different flavors of excitement.  Now, TGBK was moderately successful, but we mouse fans weren't exactly jumping on pogo sticks of happiness to see Topo in yet another adaptation after Little Topo Gigio Women, Topo Gigio's Atlas Shrugged, and The Sound and the Fury and the Topo Gigio.  But the new movie promises to let Topo play himself and just do what he does best.  You know… like, really cute mouse stuff.

 

Over on the Tough Pigs forum we're already throwing out long, random lists of guest stars we'd like to see, and engaging in an intensely angry and bitter brawl over the rumored presence of Ryan Seacrest, who may be filling in for Topo's old friend Ed Sullivan, who is currently unavailable due to being dead for 34 years.

 

So now we're waiting with bated, cheese-smelling breath for more details.  We Topo Gigio fans have been hoping for a Topo comeback for years now... Could this be it at last?  Could this be the answer to our prayers, our hopes, our dreams?  As Topo's Italian creators Maria Perego and Giuseppe “Peppino” Mazzullo might say: Maybe.

 

 

My Week with Topo: Monday

By Joe Hennes

As I’m sure all of you loyal ToughPigs readers can attest, 1964 was a difficult year.  The final Looney Tunes cartoon was produced, Lenny Bruce was sentenced to prison, and Herbert Hoover, 31st President of the United States, passed away, leaving a nation in mourning.  We all breathed a sigh of relief as 1965 reared its mammoth of a head, as a new year brought a second chance, and with it, new opportunities to show our children that there was more to our existence than Cold Wars and Beatlemanias.  And who would usher in this new age, but everyone’s favorite mouse with a funny accent, Topo Gigio!

 

Yes, 1965 was that fateful year when Topo’s hit variety show, “Les Avventures Di Topo Gigio”, exploded onto the scene.  Mothers and fathers across the nation sat amazed and bemused as their children sat captivated by Topo every Wednesday night.  But not for long – the older generation quickly became just as entranced as their kids!  In a matter of days, 98% of all television sets in America were tuned to the DuMont network, and a nation gave in to the Tiny Tyrant known as Topo Gigio.

 

Lucky for those of us who have been wanting to relive the magic, HIT Entertainment has released the entire series of “Les Avventures Di Topo Gigio” onto DVD.  And luckier even for you, I will be covering the 4th season right here on ToughPigs.com in a feature I like to call My Week with Les Avventures Di Topo Gigio, Season 4!  Or “MWWLADTGS4” for short.

 

To start this amazing box set (which cost me only $95 at Best Buy... what a bargain!), I watched the amazing episode with the amazingly special guest star, Betty White!  Betty is a notable guest star here, because she had only done a few episodes of “Date with the Angels” in 1962.  Thankfully, they had the foresight to know that someday, she’d be a star, even if she had to step on Mary Tyler Moore’s shoulders to do so.  The opening number featured Betty White dressed as a Grecian urn, while Jongo, the 8’ tall mongoose, read dirty limericks.  The remainder of the show was filled with 22 minutes of Topo Gigio brushing his teeth.  Now, that may sound boring, but DAMN is that little guy life-like!  Plus, you don’t even notice that he doesn’t have any teeth!

 

Come on back tomorrow for My Week with Les Avventures Di Topo Gigio, Season 4: Day 2 (or “MWWLADHIMOMS4D2”) when I review that ground-breaking episode featuring future President of the United States, Gerald Ford.  I, for one, can’t wait to revisit Ford’s one-man human pyramid while Topo Gigio hula hoops next to him.  What an amazing talent!  Ford is too.

 

Topography

By Michal Richardson

 

After months of buzz surrounding a rumored John Mayer music video starring our favorite wobbly hero, fans were counting down the hours leading up to the long-awaited debut of Mayer's new single Love Handles.  Personally, I had a hunch that featuring Topo was little more than pandering to nostalgic hipsters and a good opportunity for tie-in merchandise (because really, who could resist the chance to relive Topo Happy Meal toys?) but my curiosity was piqued.

 

You all watched the video's live premiere along with me, so I won't go into excruciating detail about Mayer's heavily distorted vocals or Topo Gigio's revolutionary rap solo.  I will say, however, that Mr. Mayer's idea to cast himself as the avenging knight opposite Topo's damsel-in-distress act seemed a bit hackneyed to me.  Honestly, I've grown weary of the Topo Holding Company's repeated acquiescence to plop the little guy into tired scenarios (bringing us the likes of A Truly Special Topo Gigio Arbor Day Special, Topo Gigio Meanders Down the Mississippi River, and Topo and the Shotgun Wedding) rather than coming up with fresh material that remains true to the offbeat shtick of Topo Gigio's heyday.

 

What's more, Mayer had a notably difficult time interacting with Topo Gigio.  I've seen a range of celebrities' appearances with Topo, and only a select few intuitively look him in the eye; many look at the Tuppeteer, or give up and look at the audience.  Why John Mayer chose to address Topo as though he were actually under the floorboards, following the mouse's request for a goodnight kiss, is beyond me.  Unless you have those Topo Gigio slippers I've been coveting, John, the only Topo around to sing to is just opposite you, in that turret.

 

You folks remember the Topo Gigio golden age, don't you?  Like me, you yearn for the charming vaudevillian song-and-dance numbers of Topo's many Laugh-In guest spots.  You fondly hearken back to Charles Grodin's brilliant performance in Topo's Inferno, awestruck as the diminutive rodent on his shoulder guided him through the nine circles.  John Mayer and his ilk, with their soft spot for the Topo Gigio of their youth, may aspire to revive the heartwarming irreverence of years past, but at this point, can anyone come close?

 

Given the turnover of Topo Gigio writers and performers over the last two decades (and speaking of new performers, faithful readers already know of my skepticism toward the new Topo's accent; it lacks the conviction and slight whine of the old Topo - to say nothing of the rebuilt puppet's eerily flat head), has the time for Topo Gigio's retirement finally arrived?  We'd hardly be taking Topo down in his prime, as anyone who saw his embarrassing three-word cameo on last week's Countdown with Keith Olbermann will agree, but we can still give him the distinguished sendoff he deserves. 

 

Let's throw an old-school party for Topo Gigio and then let him rest in peace, contenting ourselves with our Classic Topo DVDs.  Do me a favor, everyone, and don't invite John Mayer.

 

JumanGigio!

By Joe Hennes

Breaking news, landlubbers!  My Secret Squirrel has informed me that Palisades will be making Topo Gigio action figures!  Wave one will include Topo Gigio (classic), Vacation Topo Gigio, Underwater Topo Gigio, Topo Gigio in a bear suit, and Mega Topo Gigio (at a whopping 8” tall!).  Each figure will feature 718 points of articulation and will retail for ₤3.50.

 

Also on the horizon, Master Replicas has a Topo Gigio photo puppet in the works.  The photo puppet will be life-sized, fully poseable and will be sold for only $600!  A bargain at any price!  Well, for that one price.  Which it’s being sold at.  Y’know.  Ahem.  Check please.

Lastly, Burger King will be including Topo Gigio toys in their Kids Club Meals this month.  Unfortunately, the toys will have the shape, color, and smell of Burger King French fries, so they might be gone before you know it.

 

Another Thing About Topo Gigio!

By Ryan Roe

 

Do you love Topo Gigio?  Do you have crayons and blank paper?  If you don't have crayons, do you have markers?  If you don't have markers, do you have paints or colored pencils? If you don't have paper, do you have a computer with a drawing program?

 

Did you answer "yes" to any of those questions?

 

Did you answer "yes" to that last question?  If so,I want to invite YOU to submit your creations to the 17th Biennial Worldwide Super Spectacular Amazing Super Epic Topo Gigio Fan Art Blowout!  You can draw a picture of your favorite scene from one of Topo's movies, or sculpt a life-sized statue of Topo as William Howard Taft, or give yourself a permanent tattoo of Topo on your solar plexus -- as long as it's art, anything goes!

 

You can e-mail your entries to me, but I don't know how to use a computer, so you'll be better off delivering them to me by hand.  Oh, and if you drop by when I'm not home, the spare key is under my Topo Gigio welcome mat.  Now to give you some inspiration, here's a pic of my own.  I think it's some of my best work:

 

 

So don’t delay… submit your Topo Gigio Fan Art today!