Recently, Sesame Street has come under fire from conservative news sources about a two-year-old joke in which Oscar the Grouch's girlfriend Grundgetta claims to want to watch "POX News: Now there's a trashy news show!" As we all know, conservative ears have trouble differentiating the P and F sounds, so the O'Reilly Militia immediately started shouting at the top of their lungs about how Sesame Street's liberal agenda has crossed the line by slamming their beloved FOX News network.

Of course, if they had taken the time to hit the rewind button on their VCRs (it's a well-known fact that Republicans don't own Tivo), they would have seen that the premise of this episode is that Oscar is a newscaster for GNN, the Grouch News Network, which promotes "All grouchy, all disgusting, all yucky news, all the time." That sure sounds like FOX News' mission statement to me. GNN reports on Horatio the Elephant taking a bath in Maria's bathroom (obviously because of the Republican party's love for their elephant mascot) and Prince Charming and Sleeping Beauty's game of checkers (because they love lazy heads of state). Ultra-liberals Gordon and Bob both claim to watch GNN to get "both sides of the story," so they must not be the intended audience. No, the intended audience is Grundgetta.

In the now Internet Famous clip (which is way better than Regular Famous), Grundgetta claims that GNN isn't trashy enough for her, which is what gains POX News another point in the Female Grouches demographic. But how much trash could one Grouch need? GNN not only employs Oscar the Grouch, but also notable Grouches Dan Rather-not and Walter Cranky. Even Meredith Beware-a and Diane Spoiler are mentioned as grouchy guests on the network.

So what does constitute as "liberal news" on Sesame Street? Elmo sits behind the desk at MNN: The Monster News Network, Charles Blitzen anchors CDN: The Counter Downer Network (which I'm sure gets great ratings around the Christmas season), and Nora Nicks is a VJ over at NTV (they probably have NTV News, right?). There's also whatever network on which Kermit the Frog broadcasts his Sesame Street News Flashes. We can only assume that the residents of Sesame Street can't pick up the signals of DNN, DTV, KMUP, or WHHZ. Every one of these networks is bound to be the antithesis of POX News, so Grundgetta should be content with the level of trash on GNN.

But at the end of the day, GNN proves itself to be the yucky news network it set out to be by winning a Phlegmmy Award. And that's an honor that not even the real FOX News has achieved. So maybe the conservatives should do a little less finger-pointing at Sesame Street and work a little harder at bringing a fair and balanced amount of trash, rudeness, intolerance, and all-around grouchiness to their viewers.

Good night, and good yuck.
Click here to change the channel on the ToughPigs forum!

Labels: controversy, Sesame Street

So the Muppets performed Wednesday night on America's Got Talent on NBC, and the question all Muppet fans are asking now is: What the hell happened to Kermit?

Kermit, Miss Piggy, and some chickens appeared on the show, singing "Don't Go Breakin' My Heart." The chickens were lovely, and I thought Miss Piggy looked and sounded great. Of course, the Muppets have already done "Don't Go Breakin' My Heart" once before, on The Muppet Show with Elton John, but most people don't remember that, so it's not a bad song choice for a Kermit/Piggy duet. The attempt at presenting the number as a little romantic drama was really awkward, but that wasn't the thing that made Muppet fans do double takes and fall off their couches in disbelief.

Perhaps it wasn't obvious to David Hasselhoff or Sharon Osbourne or the average viewer, but we Muppet geeks noticed immediately that Kermit the Frog -- our old pal Kermit, our close personal friend Kermit -- was not performed by Steve Whitmire, the dude who's performed the frog since Jim Henson's death in 1990. If you missed it, you can see for yourself -- As of this writing, the number is on YouTube, as seen below:



So we Muppet fans are confused and upset right now. There are two questions that immediately come to mind. The first, of course, is Who? If Kermit was not played by the guy who's been playing him for the last 19 years, then who was it? Word has it that it was Artie Esposito, a puppeteer who's worked on several Sesame Street projects in recent years. You know, I have no doubt he's a decent guy and a fine puppeteer, but I gotta say, I'd hate to be in his shoes right now.

Of course, every professional puppeteer wants to work with the Muppets, and I'm sure it would be very tempting to take a gig as one of the world's favorite puppet characters... but on the Tough Pigs and Muppet Central forums, reactions to the appearance have been overwhelmingly negative, and not without reason. Kermit's performance was stiff, and the voice... well, we know what Kermit sounds like, and this just didn't sound like Kermit. The moment when he ran backstage and yelled at Nick Cannon was especially unfortunate.

The next question, then, is Why? Why wasn't Kermit performed by Steve Whitmire? And that question is bound to have a more complicated answer. I don't have any first-hand information, so all I can do is speculate, which is exactly what we've been doing on the Tough Pigs forum. Did Steve have to drop out unexpectedly? (We were originally promised a Statler & Waldorf cameo, and the fact that they failed to materialize is eyebrow-raising considering Steve Whitmire has been Statler's performer for the last few years.) Was the new performer brought in at the last minute?

Or is there a more dramatic reason? There's the possibility that The Great Kermit the Frog Switch has something to do with contract negotiations... but that suggestion opens a door to a dark and messy place I'd rather not venture into. In fact, I had a lot more to say here, but I just deleted it because it's way too early to get too doom-y and gloomy, as fun as that would be.

The fact is, this thing just happened, so the whole story's not clear yet. With any luck, we'll get an explanation soon... though it may or may not be reassuring. Jeez, what a weird day to be a Muppet fan.

Click here to talk about the AGT Kermit debacle on the Tough Pigs forum!

Labels: controversy, Muppet performers, Muppets on TV, news

You know how people in their 20s and 30s are always complaining about the current version of Sesame Street? They say the show has been ruined, that it's a shadow of its former self, that it's a whine whine of its kvetch kvetch... The complaints are nearly always built around one word, and that word is Elmo.

Folks who watched the show in the 70s and 80s hate the fact that a sappy, silly "new" character became a star and usurped Big Bird as the representative Sesame Street character. Several weeks back, in my review of the new Sesame Street DVD Being Green, I embedded the "Elmo's Green Mashup" video, which was officially posted on YouTube by the show's producers. Anyone who knows me well knows I'm always fascinated by internet comments, and I couldn't resist looking to see what the common people of the web had to say about the clip.

One trend immediately caught my attention. Several commenters who saw the clip assumed that Elmo's change of hue was a permanent development... and they were pretty unhappy about it. This comment posted by AnimenerdMuffin is representative of this: "noooo he cant be green D: he was always red when i watched him growing up"

Meanwhile, NikTee123 is a little confused, but had the same basic reaction: "wtf first they made the cookie monster orange now elmo is green. WHAT ON EARTH IS HAPPENING ON THAT STREET!"

lexy1234 is even more sadly misinformed about other characters, but is in the same boat: "this sucks. elmo and cookie monster have changed. elmo is green. cookie monster is now the veggie monster. what happened to the old days :( "

Do you know what this means? The tide is turning! Whereas Generation X holds dear the pre-Elmo Sesame Street from its childhood and resents Elmo for showing up and changing it, we now have Generation Y, who grew up with Elmo and resents any indication of a Sesame Street without the standard Elmo. Mr. Born-in-1974 believes with every fiber of his being that the only true Sesame Street is the Sesame Street before the little red guy... but you know what? Mr. Born-in-1994 believes with just as many fibers that Elmo is an essential ingredient in the Sesame Street recipe.

Just think -- whereas now we have young adults complaining that Elmo has taken screen time away from classic characters like Big Bird and Grover, in just a few years we're likely to have young adults ranting about how Abby has taken screen time away from classic characters like Elmo and Baby Bear! Since Elmo hit the big time, grown-ups have been like, "It's a huge mistake to give Elmo the spotlight over the classic characters! The show was so much better before he showed up!" But now the viewers who were in the audience for the first Elmo's World segments are becoming grown-ups themselves, and they're all like, "It's a huge mistake to change the Elmo character! The show needs the classic Elmo!"

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this, and I guess I don't really have a point to make, and I can't say that one group of fans is more correct than the other. But isn't it interesting?



Click here to wonder what happened to the old days on the Tough Pigs forum!

Labels: controversy, Sesame Street

Disclaimer: This article is not exactly about Muppets. Actually, it's not about Muppets at all. But it is about Sesame Street, and it is very, very important.

If you’re a big fan of Sesame Street, like myself, or my fellow Tough Pigs, or President Barack Obama, you probably know that the human character Gordon has been played by three actors in the show’s history: Matt Robinson, who originated the role; Hal Miller, who only stuck around for two seasons; and Roscoe Orman, the best-known and most beloved Gordon. But what about this guy?



What about this guy?!

This is the actor who played Gordon in a 1969 test episode (available on the DVD release Sesame Street Old School Vol. 2), which was screened for kids before Sesame Street made its official TV debut so the producers could find out what worked and what didn’t. This guy, apparently, is what didn’t.

While his co-stars Loretta Long, Bob McGrath, and Will Lee were chosen for the privilege of saying the alphabet on television (in the roles of Susan, Bob, and Mr. Hooper, respectively), this guy didn’t make the cut. Maybe children didn’t like him, or maybe the producers didn’t like him, but either way, this Proto-Gordon was not destined to be part of the show. So before it had even started, his Sesame Street career was... what's the word I'm looking for?



Done. Right. It was done. So who was that guy? Here’s the shocking truth: Nobody knows. Muppet Wiki, the most comprehensive source of Sesame Street facts in human history, describes him as “an unidentified actor.” When Michael Davis wrote the Sesame Street history Street Gang, he interviewed tons of people involved with the show and was given access to thousands of pages of documents… and he didn't find out anything about the Proto-Gordon! In his book, Davis quotes Jon Stone as saying, "At the last moment we cast an actor with whom no one was completely happy..." Later, Davis describes him as "a person in the neighborhood that children would run away from, not to." And that's it for poor old Proto-Gordon.



Of course, if he had been credited, I wouldn't be nearly so curious about him. If Street Gang had said something like, "Gordon was played in the pilot by Franklin P. Funkytonsils, a struggling New York actor who never did anything else of note," I would be satisfied. But instead we have a mystery, and my inquiring mind will forever be churning until it's solved. So I’d like to take this opportunity to shout a question out into the vast expanse of the internet: Does anyone know who this guy is?

Seriously - if you know anything about this guy (or if you ARE this guy) please post on the Tough Pigs forum or drop me an e-mail. Is he still among the living? Did he continue acting, or did the rejection drive him to abandon his show-business dreams forever? Was he always bitter about not getting the job, watching from the outside as Sesame Street became one of the most important TV programs in history? Does he still watch the show today, and if so, which episode of Elmo’s World is his favorite? Perhaps there are no answers to these questions. Perhaps the identity of the Proto-Gordon will never be known to man (or woman, or grouch or monster or bird or etc.). But if he’s out there, I just want to say this to him: Nice dance moves, man.



Click here to help us solve the mystery of the Proto-Gordon on the Tough Pigs forum! And my thanks to Muppet Wiki for the nifty images!

Labels: controversy, old school, Sesame Street, Sesame Street humans

I’ve hesitated to bring this up for a while now, because I’m afraid it may ignite the kind of controversy that could rip the Muppet fan community apart, pitting brother against brother and frog against pig, but I can hold my silence no longer. I must stand up and ask this question, which has been gnawing at my brain for untold ages:

What’s the correct way to pronounce the name of Rowlf the Dog?

Rowlf is one of the oldest and most beloved major Muppet characters. He’s been around for four decades, so you would think everyone would know his name by now, yet there doesn’t seem to be a universally agreed-upon standard.

Of course, I’m writing these words and not speaking them, so it would be pretty darn clever for me to just say, “It’s easy! His name is pronounced ‘Rowlf!’ HAW! HAW!” But no, that’s not good enough. I want to get to the bottom of this vitally important issue once and for all. So I’m writing this Muppet fan website article, which I believe will soon be considered one of the finest examples of journalism ever produced by man. Let’s look at the evidence.

One way is to say it like this: “Rolf.” It rhymes with “golf” (the popular sport) or “Dolph,” as in Dolph Lundgren (the popular actor who starred in the 1991 film Showdown in Little Tokyo). I had twelve of our Tough Pigs interns hit the archives for some research, and they found a few Muppet productions in which various actors used this pronunciation. For example, the audio clip below features Lesley Ann Warren on The Muppet Show. This is where she thinks she’s doing a song with Rowlf, only to find Marvin Suggs onstage.


But honestly, is the chick who played Cinderella on TV really an authority on Muppet names? So for further credibility, here’s another one. It’s the announcer from John Denver and the Muppets: A Christmas Together.



It’s not unreasonable to think he received some kind of coaching on how to say the characters’ names at the recording session, right? Even more persuasive than that, though, is this clip from one of the recent Muppet videos on YouTube, in which Rowlf’s fellow Muppet, Rizzo, clearly says “Rolf.”



So that’s one pretty crappy example, one so-so example, and one good example. But I have to say, I don’t think this is the correct pronunciation.

For one thing, the name has a W in it. Where is that W when you make Rowlf’s name rhyme with 18 holes and the guy who played Ivan Drago? For another thing, Rolf is a German name, and while I don’t think it’s ever been revealed what breed of dog Rowlf is, he’s definitely not a German shepherd.

So let’s look at another option: Pronouncing it the same way as the name “Ralph.” Here’s one guy who says it that way: It’s Jimmy Dean, the fellow who gave Rowlf his big break on national television. This next clip is from a sketch on The Jimmy Dean Show, naturally.



So there’s that. But you might say, “Jimmy Dean is just some yokel country singer who happens to make delicious sausage-and-egg biscuits. What does he know?” And you’re absolutely right -- Jimmy Dean does make delicious sausage-and-egg biscuits. But here’s a presumably more reliable source, a lady who never had a hit country song in her life: It’s Jane Henson, and this clip is from the PBS Great Performances special, The World of Jim Henson.



And check this out… From the same documentary, a guy even closer to the character than Jane: It’s Frank Oz, the man who was chiefly in charge of making half of Rowlf’s fingers wiggle in the early days.



To my ear, they’re definitely pronouncing it “Ralph,” as does Rowlf’s co-worker Scooter in this clip from The Muppet Show.




You might think I’ve come to the conclusion that “Ralph” is definitively the correct way to pronounce Rowlf’s name. Well… not exactly. The way I’ve always understood it, Rowlf’s name should be pronounced almost like “Ralph,” but not quite. When I say it, it’s kinda like “Raowlf” or “Raoulf” or maybe “Raaouhwlff.” I’m pretty sure Jim Henson intended for the character’s name to recall the sound of a dog barking, so I figure “Rowlf” is the canine version of “Ralph.” Like, maybe if dogs could talk, that’s how they’d say it.

Fortunately, Rowlf is, in fact, a dog who can talk, so he’s the ultimate authority on his own friggin’ name. Now here’s where the definitive evidence comes in. This first clip is from The Muppets Go Hollywood.



And here’s one we’ve all heard at least fifty-five thousand times: It’s from the intro to “I Hope That Somethin’ Better Comes Along” on the Muppet Movie soundtrack.



I’ve just listened to those two snippets four thousand times each, and no matter how I twist and bend my ear, I just can’t get it to hear “Rolf.” To me, it sounds mostly-but-not-exactly like “Ralph,” so that’s the pronunciation I’m sticking with. If Lesley Ann Warren wishes to challenge me on this, she can contact me at the e-mail address below.

I’ve just written way, way, way, way, way too many words on this topic (way, way, way), but now I’m curious, and I’d love to know which pronunciation is more prevalent among Muppet fans, so I went ahead and started a poll on the Tough Pigs forum. It’s a poll, technically, but I see it more as a survey. The question: How do you pronounce Rowlf’s name? “Rolf?” “Ralph?” Or the more nuanced “Raoulf?” Or maybe you have yet another pronunciation.

So click here and place your vote now! Meanwhile, I can’t help but think that all this hullaballoo could have been avoided if Jim Henson had just named his dog puppet “Waggington” like he considered.
Click here to talk about Rowlf’s name on the Tough Pigs forum! Or did I already say that?

Labels: controversy, fanaticism, poll, The Muppet Show

We've heard a lot lately about Disney's big plans for the Muppets in the near future, and it's all very exciting, because it means there will soon be lots of new Muppet stuff for us to buy. I mean, we all love watching new Muppet TV specials and movies and crap like that, but what we really want is more merchandise to take up space in our houses.

I just have one very important request to present to whoever is in charge of these things: Please never use this image of the Swedish Chef again.


I have no idea how long this photo has been around... Since the early 2000s at least, and probably longer. But I've seen it on jigsaw puzzles, coasters, magnets, and various other merchandise for years, and it just showed up on the new 2009 Muppet calendar.

Did nobody at the photo session realize that this pose makes it look like the Chef is smoking a joint? It's practically begging for a quick, effortless PhotoShop job! In fact, I'm going to do an image search right now and show you all the different places on the web where people have taken this shot and turned the Chef into a pothead.

. . .

Huh. Okay. Well, I can't find any. For the first time ever, I'm actually disappointed that the people of the internet have refrained from corrupting one of my favorite family-friendly characters.

But my point still stands! It's not like this is a trademark gesture for the Chef. Has he ever even done this? Usually he uses his hands for much broader movements, like throwing rolling pins, or throwing spoons, or throwing chickens. Basically, he throws stuff. And anyway, it's not like there aren't other, better shots available. What's wrong with this one?


Isn't that better? Why can't that be the default Chef shot? So far all I've done is complain, but I want to help too. So here are my suggestions for Five Other Things for the Swedish Chef to Do with His Hands:

1. Smack a lobster.
   
2. Perform the old "detachable thumb" trick.
3. Juggle.
4. Toss a pizza.
5. Some other thing.

I've made my point, and now it's time to take action. I strongly recommend that all Muppet fans, Swedish or not, join me in aggressively rolling our eyes every time we see that picture from now on. I believe it will make a real difference. Thank you for your time.

Click here to roll up and discuss this article at my favorite joint, the Tough Pigs forum!

Labels: complaining, controversy, fanaticism, merchandise, The Muppet Show

O, what chaos hath New York Times writer Virginia Heffernan wrought?

If you own the Sesame Street Old School DVDs (volume 1 was released last year, volume 2 earlier this month), you've seen that they include a brief disclaimer: “These early Sesame Street episodes are intended for grown-ups, and may not suit the needs of today’s preschool child.” That's it... just a brief note delivered by a cartoon character before the first episode on each set. Last week Heffernan wrote a clever, light-hearted article about this in the New York Times Magazine, asking with tongue-in-cheek indignation what could possibly be so wrong with the episodes that brought up a generation.

Since then, the internet has taken notice of the article, and if there's one thing internet people are great at, it's overreacting. Entertainment websites and the blog world are now abuzz with former Sesame viewers in their late 20s through early 40s expressing the shock, dismay and outrage caused by their misinterpretation of the Sesame Workshop's cautionary notice. People, basically, are freaking out. Fox News even ran an incredulous, uninformed piece about it.

How do we, as Sesame Street fans who know better, talk some sense into these people? Well, picture the following scenario. BINKY and BUNKY are your coworkers, or your fellow partygoers, or on a bus with you, and they're former Sesame viewers who have just heard the story. As our scene begins, they're chatting just before you happen to come along...

BINKY: Hey, you know that show Sesame Street?

BUNKY: Yeah! I loved watching Sesame Street back in the 1970s when I was a kid!

BINKY: Me too! I also enjoyed watching that television show in the 1970s. So, I just read on some random blog somewhere that the old Sesame Street is on DVD now, but it comes with a warning that you should never let your kids see it because it's inappropriate!

BUNKY: No!

BINKY: Yes!

BUNKY: No!

BINKY: Yes!

BUNKY: NO!

BINKY: YES! They said it's because Cookie Monster used to hold a pipe sometimes!

BUNKY: Is that all? That's nothing! We saw Cookie Monster with a pipe and we turned out just fine!

BINKY: I know! If you ask me, everyone on Sesame Street could smoke a pipe, and it wouldn't be that big a deal.

BUNKY: Yeah, it's not like the kids at home are going to start smoking right there in front of the TV!

BINKY: They also said it was politically incorrect that Ernie and Bert's apartment was dirty!

BUNKY: I have no idea what that means or why it would be a reason not to let little kids watch, but I'll take your word for it because you read it in some random blog! And I'm indignant!

BINKY: You're telling me! Oh, and the same thing I read said that if the show started today, they wouldn't be allowed to have Oscar the Grouch!

BUNKY: A world without Oscar?! O, horror of all horrors! How dare they say such a thing?!

BINKY: I know! Why, I can remember watching Sesame Street while sitting on the floor with my favorite teddy bear. My grandmother gave me that teddy bear! Are they trying to say that my grandmother is inappropriate for today's children?!!

BUNKY: Those scoundrels! Sesame Street is way too politically correct now!

BINKY: It's all Elmo's fault, somehow.

BUNKY: You're right, of course! Ever since they let him come in and take over the show, and start starring in and writing and directing every episode, the show has been ruined!

BINKY: Yes! Elmo destroyed everything! And then they changed Cookie Monster's name to "Raw Organic Asparagus Monster!"

BUNKY: Oh, yeah. I heard about that from my cousin Melvin, who read it on the internet... so it must be true!

BINKY: What's next? I bet they'll turn the Count into a pink, fuzzy kitten because vampires are too scary!

BUNKY: I bet they will! Outrage!

BINKY: And then they'll get rid of Big Bird, just because he runs around naked all the time!

BUNKY: Today's children are growing up so deprived because their television experience is not exactly identical to ours! This is a subject worthy of getting furious over!

BINKY: Grr!

BUNKY: My entire childhood has just been invalidated! Grr!

(At this point, YOU, the Rational,Grown-Up Sesame Fan, enter the scene.)

YOU: Excuse me, I couldn't help but overhear...

BINKY: Who are you?

YOU: I'm a rational grown-up Sesame Street fan.

BUNKY: You don't say.

YOU: Sure I do.

BUNKY: Far out.

YOU: So, it sounds like you've got your Christmas lights in a tangle, so to speak, over the disclaimer on the Old School DVDs. Tell me, have you actually seen these DVDs?

BINKY: Well, no. But I watched the show when I was a kid, and I --

YOU: And you turned out just fine, I know. I can tell just by looking at you. But did you know that Sesame Workshop, the producer of Sesame Street, constantly does research and testing to determine how to make the best possible show that will simultaneously educate and entertain children?

BUNKY: Um...

YOU: Well, they do. Now, do you think a toddler in the year 2007 is exactly the same as a toddler in the year 1974?

BUNKY: I guess not.

YOU: So isn't it possible that the type of show that can most effectively teach a child while also holding his or her interest in the year 2007 is different from the type of show that accomplished the same feat in 1974?

BUNKY: Huh. I guess so. But my friend sent me a link to a blog by some guy who saw a report about it on Fox News, and he said --

YOU: It may be true that seeing Cookie Monster as Alistair Cookie holding a pipe didn't persuade you to become a smoker. It may also be true that you didn't suffer lead poisoning from playing on playground equipment containing lead paint. Does that mean you want your children to play with lead paint?

BINKY: Gosh, Mr. or Ms. YOU. I never thought about it that way.

YOU: Anyway, here's the important part: The disclaimer doesn't say, "Do not under any circumstances let kids see this stuff because it's bad for them." It just says it "may not suit the needs of today's pre-school children." Now, if you had watched these DVDs, you'd know that the first episode includes a slow-moving, seven-minute segment on milking cows with droning, repetitious narration. Does that sound like the kind of thing today's kids would sit still for?

BINKY: Um... yes?

YOU: Really?

BINKY: No.

YOU: No. There's also a film sequence about unsupervised children playing in a construction site. We could debate whether or not watching that is damaging to kids, but can you blame Sesame Workshop for covering themselves by putting a disclaimer in front of something like that?

BUNKY: Hey, I milked a cow once!

YOU: By the way, since I have your attention, when you complain about today's Sesame Street... have it you seen it lately?

BINKY: Is this a trick question?

YOU: If you were to watch it, you would see that Cookie Monster is still gorging on cookies. Just about every day, in fact, when he and Prairie Dawn do the Letter of the Day segment.

BUNKY: Is Prairie Dawn the same one as Betty Lou?

YOU: Besides, Cookie Monster has been eating healthy foods in addition to cookies for decades. In Old School volume 2, there's a sketch from the mid-70s in which he gets excited about eating lettuce leaves.

BINKY: Get outta town!

YOU: I will not. The Count is still around too, and so are all your other favorite characters.

BINKY: Like Sam the Robot?!

YOU: ...almost all your other favorite characters.

BINKY: So what you're saying is, we shouldn't get all worked up over a few words at the beginning of one disc of a three-disc DVD set whose only purpose is to point out that there's a difference between the 1970s and the 2000s?

YOU: Right.

BINKY: And that just because the stuff we have fond memories of might not be the same stuff that's the best way for today's kids to have fun learning doesn't mean our fond memories are any less valid?

YOU: Right.

BUNKY: And that the counting cartoon with the pinball machine and the "onetwothree FOUR FIVE sixseveneight NINE TEN eleven twelve" song is awesome?

YOU: Well, I hadn't said that, but yes, that's correct.

BINKY: Oh, wise Rational Grown-up Sesame Fan, you've certainly helped me to see things differently.

BUNKY: I'll say! I'm going to stop complaining about Sesame Street DVDs and concern myself with something far more important... like complaining about who won this year's Dancing with the Stars!

YOU: That's the spirit...

BINKY: What's more, I think we should run out and buy many, many copies of the Sesame Street Old School DVDs and distribute them to all our friends so everyone can see that this really isn't a big deal.

YOU: Now you're talkin'!

BINKY: And we should take this Rational Grown-up Sesame Fan out for ice cream, right now!

YOU: Sounds good to me. On the way over I'll explain why it's not necessary for you to hate and fear Elmo.

BUNKY: I can't wait!

CURTAIN.

So there you go. Make these points, and I guarantee your discussions will turn out just like this one, every time. Good luck, and try not to get an ice cream headache.

Click here to discuss this article on the Tough Pigs forum!

Labels: controversy, DVD, old school, Sesame Street