Labels: christmas, review

A few weeks ago, I called upon you to submit your own redesign to the upcoming Letters to Santa DVD, which will sport the mysterious and captivating O-Sleeve. Much to my surprise, a few of you actually sent pictures in! Well done, few-of-you!

Let's take a looksee at what ToughPigs readers think of Letters to Santa and that pesky O-Sleeve.
Special thanks to everyone who submitted a picture! You guys are all aces in my book.

Click here to discuss Stephen King's level of talent on the ToughPigs forum!

Labels: christmas, DVD, fan art, Muppet movies

The following review was written by Tough Pigs' close, personal friend Peter Papazoglou. Here, Peter shares his thoughts on the Jim Henson Company's live stage musical version of Emmet Otter's Jugband Christmas, which completed its run at the Goodspeed Opera House in Haddon, Connecticut on January 4. Take it away, Peter!

I have a confession to make. Until a couple of hours ago, I had never seen Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas. Worse yet, it’s not for lack of opportunity; I’ve had in my possession for over three years now not only the HIT! Entertainment-released DVD (gifted to me by my then-girlfriend, now-fiancé, and sometime-Tough Pigs contributor Leah) but also a copy of the much sought after original cut of the 1977 HBO special.

When I shared my secret with Tough Pigs’ own Joe and Ryan last month, they were, of course, shocked. After all, in certain Muppet fan circles, this surely amounted to nothing less than blasphemy. But luckily for me, they had a touch of the Christmas spirit about them, and rather than run me out of Riverbottom, they took their seats beside me as I was introduced to Russell and Lillian Hoban’s story in a brand new way - on stage.

And having finally seen the television special, I can confirm that Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas, the new musical produced by the Goodspeed Opera House in association with the Jim Henson Company, adeptly and (for the most part) faithfully adapts its source material.

The story, for those of you fellow cretins unfamiliar with it, tells of Emmet Otter and his ma, Alice, two of the poorest residents of rural Frogtown Hollow, where bartering is common practice and even fifty cents can make a difference. Since the death of Pa Otter, the two have barely managed to sustain themselves with odd jobs and a laundry service. But just as they resign themselves to another year without gifts beneath the Christmas branch, word comes out of nearby and newly electrified Waterville that Doc Bullfrog is hosting a talent contest with a first prize of fifty dollars cash.

In a plot twist that borrows from O. Henry’s short story, “The Gift of the Magi,” Alice and Emmet, both inspired by Pa Otter’s legacy of foolhardiness, decide to enter the contest so they can afford a treasured gift for the other - for him, a guitar with mother of pearl inlays; for her, a down payment on a used piano. But when Alice hocks Emmet’s tool chest to buy fabric for a dress to perform in and Emmet puts a hole in Alice’s only washtub to fashion a makeshift bass for his jug band, they put their only sources of income at risk. So when the Riverbottom Nightmare Band, a devilish but talented rock quintet (whose incongruous style foreshadows the juxtaposition of the funky Electric Mayhem with the vaudevillian setting of The Muppet Show) wins the contest, Emmet and Alice are left to put a brave face on their impending destitution.

This being a Christmas story, all ends well for the Otters when Jane, who had previously sacrificed her place in the talent contest roster to Alice, who had showed up moments too late to register, realizes that the songs performed by Alice (“Our World”) and Emmet’s Frogtown Jubilee Jug Band (“Brothers”) could be performed in counterpoint as “Brothers in Our World,” just in time to convince Doc Bullfrog to hire the newly formed quintet to perform nightly at the Riverside Rest.

What’s that? You don’t remember Jane? Oh, come on. Jane. You know...little girl? About eleven, maybe twelve. Short. Brown hair. Human?

That’s right. Human.

I guess I forgot to mention Jane. You see, it’s Christmas in Jane’s world, too - the first since her mother’s passing - and she’s pushing her father, Russ, away. What has this got to do with Emmet Otter, you ask? Well, it was (conveniently, of course) her favorite book when she was a child, one that her mother had read to her and left a heartfelt inscription in. So when her father suggests he read it to her, she grudgingly concedes.

And before you can say deus ex machina, Jane is magically transported to Frogtown Hollow, where nobody seems to notice that she’s the only one around without her species as a last name. So, quite naturally, she sings a song, solves a plot complication that wouldn’t have existed if she had never showed up in the first place, saves the day, and then - get this! - wakes up.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, in a plot line lifted straight from a short story I wrote when I was eight years old, in which Alice (of Wonderland fame) fell into the wrong rabbit hole and ended up in Sherwood Forest instead, our heroine wakes up at the end of the story to discover that the whole thing was just a dream; she had never been to Frogtown Hollow at all. What a cop-out.

I want to be clear. What bothers me about Jane is not that Timothy A. McDonald and Christopher Gatelli, who adapted the work for the stage, felt that the story needed a framing device. After all, the original special was bookended by scenes featuring Kermit the Frog, who could obviously not be reused here due to copyright issues. It’s that the playwrights don’t trust their material.

Because the rest Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas is wonderful and remarkably complex. Like all good Christmas stories, it weaves together themes of commercialism, charity, and sacrifice. But unlike so many stories written for today’s children, its protagonists are passionate and reckless, sympathetic but tart. Its lessons are far from simple; the villains, after all, walk away with first prize. And its grief is real. Emmet and Alice don’t miss Pa in some abstract way; they reminisce about him and obsess about him. They blame him for their predicament and look to him for a way out. Nothing about Emmet Otter is simple, so it’s a testament to the strength of the source material that the play shines in spite of the framing device, which is at best an unnecessary way to give children a way into the story.

It doesn’t hurt, of course, that the production is beautifully designed.

Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas uses a costume-based approach for the majority of the main characters, who wear full-body outfits that only expose the actors’ make-up laden faces. The costumes, impeccably designed by Gregg Barnes (Fred Lizard, Harrison Fox, and Wendell Porcupine are favorites), achieve the aesthetic of the original puppets while also allowing the actors the physical versatility to perform their roles. The only snag, and it’s a minor one, is that the furry, mittened hands are distracting, pushing the costumes just a bit in the direction of the theme park variety.

More minor characters like Doc Bullfrog, Yancey Woodchuck, and Old Lady Possum are performed as bunraku-style puppets, with their performers either hidden among the scenery or dressed in black against a black background. Doc Bullfrog, in particular, is meticulously recreated and expertly performed by Tyler Bunch. And Yancey Woodchuck is built so that his puppeteer, the talented David Stephens, can effortlessly change from rod-operated hands to live ones to play the banjo on “Barbeque” at the talent show.

The remaining characters are performed as hand puppets based on the original Muppet creations. These include Howard Snake, who is seamlessly handed off from one onstage character to the next; Catfish, who spews water in other characters’ faces after appearing in the most unexpected of locations; George and Melissa Rabbit, and a quartet of gibberish-speaking squirrels who steal the show in their quest to grow a Christmas tree from scratch overnight. Even woodland creatures that appear only momentarily in the television special have been faithfully recreated for the stage: the ducks on the river in “The One Bathing Suit,” the egret at the end of “Ain’t No Hole in the Washtub,” and the owl at the end of “When the River Meets the Sea,” to name a few.

It is of note that while the majority of the puppets were recreated for this production at a larger size, so as to be more easily viewed by the audience, the puppets of Alice and Emmet that bookend the production are, in fact, the refurbished puppets from the original production.

The sets by Anna Louizos are versatile and make adept and surprising use of the small stage, most impressively conveying the illusion of Alice and Emmet rowing along the river on their way to and from Waterville. And the lighting by Brian MacDevitt effectively conveys the woodland mood while also carefully obscuring the puppeteers as necessary, particularly in the talent show climax in the second act.

As with recent adaptations of children’s films, the book and score for Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas has been expanded in order to fill the longer running time required of a stage musical. Composer/lyricist Paul Williams does an admirable job of matching the style of his new musical numbers to the ones ported over from the original score. And the revisions to the book do quite a bit to flesh out the history of Alice and Pa Otter, explaining, for example, the significance of Emmet’s wanting to give his mother a piano for Christmas. The additional material also serves to more fully develop the residents of Waterville and Riverbottom. And while the television special is remarkably efficient in its exposition, the pacing in the musical is definitely an improvement over the original, which now feels a little rushed by comparison.

Although there is some consolidation of minor characters (Yancey Woodchuck, for example, serves as the fruit stand owner in the stage version; and Will Possum’s role has been greatly reduced, split between Yancey and Old Lady Possum), only Shirley and Nat Muskrat (and their act, Carrots the Dancing Horse) appear to have been cut entirely. Most minor roles have been expanded, especially musically. Harrison Fox, performs the bouncy new song “Waterville” ; his jealous wife, Gretchen, attempts to sabotage the talent show with an incognito aria; and the heretofore unnamed Mrs. Mink gets two musical numbers - the brand new “At the Music Store,” the most lackluster and, frankly, unnecessary of the additional songs (which was also hindered by unfortunate staging that caused her to be constantly upstaged by the set), and the delightfully burlesque “Born in a Trunk,” which was written and recorded for but ultimately cut from the original special. Even Jane gets to sing with the scene-stealing squirrels, and “Trust” is one of those moments where you almost forget that she doesn’t belong in the story in the first place.

Aside from Jane and Russ, two brand new characters round out the cast. The first, Madame Squirrel, now leads the formerly haphazard acrobatic squirrels. The more notable addition, however, is the ghost Pa Otter, who appears to sing the lovely ballad, “Alice, Keep Dreaming,” when his widow has been disqualified from competing in the talent contest and is at her lowest. Tony Award nominee Alan Campbell, who appropriately doubles as Russ, captures Pa’s mischievous and compassionate spirit in his subtle, understated performance.

The rest of the cast is similarly talented, bringing vitality to roles that could easily suffer under the weight of their costumes or become mere caricatures. It is, unfortunately, the younger characters who have the most trouble. Instead of seeming like children, Daniel Reichard as Emmet, Jeff Hiller as Charlie Muskrat, and Daniel Torres as Harvey Beaver, all seem a little older, at least in part because of their height. And in trying to play the correct age, they sometimes come off as slower than they ought to be.

Out of the Frogtown Jubilee Jug Band, only the intentionally dimwitted Wendell Porcupine is spared this fate, in part because performer Robb Sapp so fully captures the character and voice created by Dave Goelz. Still, they all do admirable jobs, and their performances, especially Reichard’s, ring emotionally true if a little physically and vocally awkward.

And finally, even though it is, by definition, Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas, the show at the Goodspeed Opera House belonged to understudy Lisa Howard as Alice Otter, a role usually played by Cass Morgan (Howard usually performs Gretchen Fox). If Reichard’s Emmet runs a bit on the older side, Howard’s Alice is a more youthful creation than Frank Oz and Marilyn Sokol’s original, artfully melding the character’s maturity with an impish playfulness on display in numbers like “Ain’t No Hole in the Washtub.” Howard inhabits the role completely and is especially heartbreaking in “When the River Meets the Sea” (arguably the best song in Paul William’s score), in which she sings, in her lilting soprano, of birth fulfilling itself in death, invoking the truest meaning of Christmas.:

Like a baby when it is sleeping
In its loving mother's arms
What a newborn baby dreams is a mystery
But his life will find a purpose
And in time he'll understand
When the river meets the sea

Word on the street is that Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas may return as a perennial Christmas performance, with the hope of expanding nationally. If the production at the Goodspeed Opera House is any indication, it’s poised to be a classic. Let’s just hope its creators trust the story of Emmet and Alice Otter to tell itself, unencumbered by the modern trappings that threatened to drag down the first incarnation of this beautiful tale.

Our thanks to Peter for his review. Click here to discuss the Emmet Otter musical on the Tough Pigs forum!

Labels: christmas, guest bloggers, jim henson company, other muppet/henson shows, review

The production: Elmo's World: Happy Holidays
The gift: Elmo gives Dorothy a drawing he made

Elmo spends this entire special trying to think of a good present for Dorothy, but gifts such as a new sweater, a bottle of wine, or a puppy are just not appropriate for a fish. On a suggestion from a fat guy in a red suit, he uses his imagination and comes up with an original work of art called "Dorothy's World," which depicts Elmo inside Dorothy's fishbowl. (Presumably in Dorothy's World Elmo has gills.)

Score: 4/10
This is a last-minute gift that looks like something scribbled by a three-year-old. I'm only scoring it this high because Elmo trekked all the way to North Pole and sat through a boring song about the Christmas spirit in order to get Santa's advice.


The production: A Muppets Christmas: Letters to Santa
The gift: The Muppets' neighbor Claire asks Santa for, and receives, Christmas with the Muppets

Santa grants a few different wishes in the new Muppet Christmas special from this year: Nathan Lane gets a tricycle, which, sadly, we don't get to see him ride. Pepe gets an opera voice, which should really come in handy when they get around to making The Muppets' Gotterdammerung. Claire's letter to Santa, the plot device that drives the whole special, is simply to spend Christmas with all her Muppety friends.

Score: 8.5/10
Claire lives in the same building as the Muppets, so she gets to see them every day anyway. So I was going to rate this one pretty low... but then I got to thinking, How great a present would it be to have the Muppets come to your house on Christmas Eve? It would blow 1987's ThunderCats Cat's Lair playset out of the water, that's for sure.


The production: A Special Sesame Street Christmas
The gift: Big Bird gives Leslie Uggams a hat that everyone hates

This is the little-seen Sesame Christmas special (Danny wrote about it on this site a while back) in which Leslie Uggams is inexplicably hanging out on Sesame Street on Christmas. The humans all chip in to buy her a present, and they entrust Big Bird to pick it out, which is a pretty terrible idea. Was he established as being six years old back then? I wouldn't want a six-year-old picking out my present. Anyway, Leslie doesn't even pretend to like the hat, but she turns it into a cue for an inspiring song about really crappy Christmas presents.

Score: 1/10


The production: Emmet Otter's Jugband Christmas
The gift: Emmet attempts to give his Ma a piano, while she attempts to give him a guitar

You know the story. The otters have noble gift-giving intentions, but each of them sacrifices the other's prized possession, then they both lose the talent contest, so they don't make any money, so they can't buy any presents so they did it all for nothing. But they still have each other... and then there is that happy ending. Hmm.

Score: I can't decide. What do you think?


The production: The Great Santa Claus Switch
The gift: Santa Claus gives Thog and Thig a toy truck and a teddy bear, respectively.

In this very first Muppet Christmas special, the guy who played Ed Norton on The Honeymooners teaches two naked, monstrous beasts that Christmas is all about giving toys away without expecting anything in return. Rumor has it that Thig was so touched by this lesson that he quit the Muppets and became the head of the Salvation Army.

Score: 7/10


The production: A Muppet Family Christmas
The gift: Robin gives Grover a Fraggle pebble

A tiny rock is just about the cheapest, most worthless gift you could ever give... but when it's changing hands between the two cutest Muppets in the world in a gesture of selflessness, it seems a lot better than one of those XBox 3whatchamacallits. Besides, Grover seems genuinely touched to receive it, and he's not one to fake sincerity. This gifting also happens to connect three different Muppet worlds, which is the point of the whole special.

Score: 10/10
The best part of the Fraggle pebble is that Grover can pawn it off on the first monster, rat, or chicken he sees, and rather than seeming ungrateful, he's just following the tradition!


The production: Christmas Eve on Sesame Street
The gift: Mr. Hooper returns Bert's paper clip collection and Ernie's rubber duckie to their rightful owners

If only they used money on Sesame Street, this story never would have happened. Bert trades Mr. Hooper his paper clips for a soapdish for Rubber Duckie, and Ernie trades Mr. Hooper Rubber Duckie for a cigar box for Bert's paper clips. Then Mr. Hooper gives everything back, which means he gets absolutely nothing from the whole deal except the satisfaction of selflessness, which, of course, is the true meaning of blah blah blah.

Of course, it's not like he would have had much need for a used rubber duckie anyway. The really important thing here, though, is this: Is this the only time a grown-up human was ever seen in Bert and Ernie's apartment? He looks very tall.

Score: 9/10

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, everyone! I hope you get presents that don't suck!

Do you agree with my assessments? Disagree? Which ones did I leave out? Click here to talk about this article on the Tough Pigs forum!

ToughPigsRyan@yahoo.com

Labels: christmas, Fraggle Rock, lists, Sesame Street, the muppet show

Missed the special? It's available online here until December 31!

This week, the Muppets did something we haven’t seen them do in about three and a half years: they made a new TV movie. And SPOILER ALERT: It’s pretty dang good.

In A Muppets Christmas: Letters to Santa (sometimes incorrectly, yet better-sounding, “A Muppet Christmas: Letters to Santa”), Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, Pepe and Rizzo embark on an international voyage northward to deliver mail to an old man who has some shipments to deliver himself. And someone might or might not learn the true meaning of Christmas.

The story was pitched by Paul Williams, who you should know as the writer of the Carpenters hit song, "We've Only Just Begun," and as Virgil from Battle for the Planet of the Apes. Oh, and he wrote the music from The Muppet Movie and Muppet Christmas Carol and appeared in the Paul Williams episode of The Muppet Show. I know, I just blew your mind.

Having grown up in a Jewish household, I never paid much attention to Christmas specials. Only in the past few years have I bothered with the non-Muppet ones, and really appreciated the Frog-centric ones on the same level as any other fanatic. So it’s with thought in mind that I say this: This movie had too much Christmas.

What I mean by that is that Christmas movies tend to come with a certain level of schmaltz, and a story about delivering a little girl’s letter to Santa Claus is chock full of it. But what saved us all from ODing on schmaltziness was the Muppets’ new writing team of Hugh Fink, Scott Ganz, and Andrew Samson. Their combined knowledge of Muppet history and their ability to write a successful prime-time special turned this movie from a potential schmaltzfest into a wonderful movie that’s both great for the family and fun for nostalgia buffs.

Despite the schmaltzitude, Paul Williams did come up with a fun story to toss some Muppets into. He also wrote four new songs for the special. The first, “Delivering Christmas,” was the absolute best. It was maybe even the best Muppet song since the Muppet Christmas Carol soundtrack. That also might be due to the myriad of Muppets and choreography going on in the background of the song. Next was “What’s in Your Heart,” which was nice, though not the most memorable song I’ve ever heard (I’m trying hard to hum it right now, and it just ain’t happening). The next song, “I Wish I Was Santa Claus,” was the clinker for the special. I found it hard to believe that Paul Williams wrote it, as the lyrics were eye-rolling and the tune made me want to use the song’s 45 seconds to run to the bathroom. Though it did give us (as far as I know) Gonzo and Fozzie’s first duet, which is nothing to be ashamed of. The final song, “My Best Christmas Yet,” picked the pace up again and sounded like a song on the Muppets' repertoire for years. Whether Paul’s music was a success or not, he made it up to us by appearing as an elf, which is the most appropriate casting in the history of motion pictures.

Letters to Santa brought the Muppets back to A-list (or at least close to it) celebrity cameos. Uma Thurman was utterly adorable as Joy the ticket agent. Nathan Lane stole the spotlight as TSA Agent Officer Meany. Those two guys from the Sopranos reprised their roles as Ernie and Bert from Elmo’s Christmas Countdown. Jesse L. Martin did a song and dance, just like he does on Law and Order. Petra Nemcova has a name that’s hard to pronounce. Whoopi Goldberg portrayed God, taking human form and judging mankind in the guise of Alex Reiger. Michael Bloomberg ran for a third term. But the star of the cameo show was Jane Krakowski, whose every smirk was hilarious, and not to mention realistic for someone who shares a brownstone with a bunch of weirdos.

The terrific Muppety moments were a-plenty. The stamps on the intro. The Muppet employees of the post office. The Great Muppet Caper-esque “delivery” to the apartment. Fozzie being funny instead of pathetic. Sam’s PSA for the USPS. Beaker’s wish (and her speech impediment). Bunsen’s latent jealousy. The Swedish fish head pizza. The Electric Mayhem’s voices (especially Zoot’s trailing off). The two names being paged at the airport. Where Gonzo stores his trumpet when he travels. Bear-on-bear violence. A worse way to travel than like your luggage. A turkey serving a turkey. Lew Zealand’s Christmas present.

Of course, nothing is perfect. Some moments left me a little flat. For example: Gonzo not acting like Gonzo. He was surprisingly melancholy and muted, only breaking out to have fun in the mail sorter, in the x-ray machine, and possibly while jumping off the plane. Also, Rizzo was given very little to do, considering he had just as much screen time as the other leads (I’m ok with Piggy’s lack of screen time, as we shouldn’t be forcing her into the main story just because we can). I thought David Rudman did a fine Scooter voice, but he’s got to work on that “Scooter Fist.” The scene with the pigeons was completely forgettable (and I’ll bet it took you a few seconds to remember what I’m talking about). Everyone’s favorite Muppet, Animal, was given a total of one joke, which is more surprising than upsetting. But these are all minor complaints, and I’m sure Messrs. Fink, Ganz, and Samson are hanging on my every word and will write the next Muppet movie specifically to my personal tastes.

Despite my complaints (because we really do like to complain ‘round these parts), I thought Letters to Santa was a great success. The Muppets sounded and acted like Muppets. There was comedy and heart. And there were times when it really felt like it could have been from the era of the original Muppet movies. The Muppets very well might be moving into a new age for a new audience, and we’re off to a great start with a genuinely good movie.

But I do have one last nitpick. The plot revolves around a little girl’s wish to spend Christmas with her friends, the Muppets. But she lives in an apartment building with all of them for the other 364 days of the year. Greedy much???
Click here to share your thoughts on Letters to Santa on the ToughPigs forum!

Labels: christmas, Muppets on TV, review

We have no doubt that you've set a myriad of alarms to remind you about the new TV movie starring the Muppets coming up this Wednesday. But in case you haven't...

Letters to Santa premieres on NBC this Wednesday, December 17, at 8pm EST!

I hope that was bold enough for you. In the meantime, here's a couple ways to get yourself primed for such a momentous event:

-Click here to add the event to your Facebook page, courtesy of writers Andrew Samson and Scott Ganz.

-Click here to read a recent interview with all three writers, Andrew, Scott, and Hugh Fink at our "rival" fan site, Muppet Central.

-Click here to watch some teaser videos.

-Come back here to ToughPigs on the day after the special for our review of Letters to Santa.
Click here to get into the Christmas spirit on the ToughPigs forum!

Labels: christmas, Muppets on TV

Wow, it really looks like this YouTube thing is taking off! People really seem to like watching things move on their computer screens. And who can blame them? I've been watching things move in real life for years now.

The Muppets have been tossing videos online a lot recently, and we don't want any of you folks to miss out on the good ones. Which is all of them. So get your popping corn ready, because it's Movie Sign!

First up is an official (read: not fan-made) music video to promote Letters to Santa, featuring clips and outtakes from the movie. Be cautious, as spoilers abound.


Next is the furry, the funny, the fabulous Fozzie Bear, along with Bobby Flay, demonstrating how one might go about building their own Whatnot. After the show, Bobby Flay served his Whatnot with a light raspberry creme sauce and braised asparagus on the side.


Live from the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, here's Kermit singing the brand new song, "I Believe". This is not to be confused with the opening lyrics of Whitney Houston's "Greatest Love of All".


Here's a backstage view of the brand spankin' new Emmet Otter musical. Click here and scroll down a tad for the vid. It's times like these when I wish I knew anything about embedding videos in HTML. Sorry folks.

Kermit and Piggy made it to the lighting of the giant mutant tree at Rockefeller Center. Here they are introducing the very talented, and very off-screen, Harry Connick Jr.


Lastly, here's four teaser videos from NBC.com for Letters to Santa. Put your spoiler goggles on, as we've entered the SPOILER ZONE! Someone wake Kenny Loggins up.




We now return you to your regularly scheduled ToughPigs blog, now more motionless and static than ever before!

Click here to view video responses on the ToughPigs forum! Or, y'know, regular ones.

Labels: celebrities, christmas, Muppet movies, Muppets on TV, thanksgiving, Whatnot Workshop

On Tuesday, November 4th, two Jim Henson Company DVD releases went on sale: the Fraggle Rock Complete Series Collection and The Christmas Toy, which is on DVD for the first time.

The Fraggle Rock set's release means that all 96 episodes of the series are now available, from Beginnings to Change of Address, with lots of songs and fun and life lessons and Doozers in between.

But here's the thing: If you're like me (and who isn't?), you already bought the first, second and third seasons on DVD as they came out individually. Those are some beautiful collections, with the episodes looking great and a ton of lovely and informative extras, and they were well worth the $40 or so I paid for each one. But as of now, there are no plans to release a fourth season DVD set. So if you want every episode, you have to buy the first three seasons all over again. The list price is $139.98.

Basically, Henson and HIT Entertainment are saying, "Hey there, loyal fans! Thanks a lot for buying those first three seasons on DVD, thus proving that Fraggle Rock is commercially viable. We'd like to reward you by making you pay 140 bucks for three-fourths of a series you already own! We sincerely hope you have lots of fun giving us more of your money!"

Now, it's possible they'll release a season four set in the future, and when they do, I'll stop complaining. But for now I'm going to sit here and kvetch. Oh, and the other thing -- when they first announced the complete series set, the special features touted included a new short starring Red Fraggle, which was pretty exciting news for the fans. But don't look too hard on your DVDs for this extra, 'cause it's not there. Apparently they made the announcement before the short was actually filmed, and whoops, they ran out of time to make it.

Wasn't there a Fraggle episode where Mokey learned why you should never make promises you can't keep? Maybe the Henson people should have watched that one.

As for The Christmas Toy: It's a classic, and I haven't seen it in years, so I'm pretty happy that I'll be able to own it. But that doesn't mean I couldn't be happier.

As soon as we heard that the Jim Henson Company was releasing this special on DVD, we expected that Kermit would be edited out, and sure enough, the frog is nowhere to be seen. I happen to think the whole "Henson can't release any DVDs with Kermit because he's owned by Disney now" thing is really, really stupid. I'm not a lawyer, so I'm willing to accept the possibility that it's easier legally to just leave him out. But if Fox could release Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium on DVD with Kermit's very brief cameo intact, why can't Henson keep Kermit in a special they've owned the rights to since 1986?

But that's not all! According to this review from DVD Talk, the new disc includes no special features, and no menus. No menus! Can you believe that? I mean, it's not like I love and cherish DVD menus. Usually I don't even pay much attention to them. It's just that their absence makes it seem like Henson and HIT didn't even try. To not bother with menus indicates that they didn't put any more effort into this release than any number of those no-name companies that produce the DVDs littering the dollar bins, with names like Murder Explosion and The Man With the Ugly Hat. The Christmas Toy is such a good TV special; it really deserves more.

Maybe I'm sounding ungrateful, but that's a risk I'm willing to take. Come on, guys. We've been good fans and loyal DVD-buying customers. Can't you try just a little bit harder?

Click here to complain about cool DVDs on the Tough Pigs forum!

Labels: christmas, complaining, DVD, Fraggle Rock, merchandise

Has everyone read Joe Hennes' article from September 9th, in which he told the story of visiting the set of the new Muppet TV special Letters to Santa? (If you haven't, you should click on this link right here and read it.) In Joe's article he mentioned that he was invited by some of the Muppet people to come back for day of studio shooting. He recently took them up on that offer, and this time I got to come too.

I met Joe at the studio in the early afternoon. As we entered the stage, Joe said, "Nathan Lane is here," and yeah, actually, there he was. He's playing an airport security official in the special, which will also include appearances by Uma Thurman, Jane Krakowski, Jesse L. Martin, Tony Sirico and Steve Schirripa from The Sopranos, Richard Griffiths, Disney Channel star Madison Pettis, and New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg. But with all those celebrities, is there any space in the special left for Muppets?

As a matter of fact, there is space, which is good, because the first scene I saw them shoot featured Bobo, and the Bobo puppet is frigging enormous. He's so bulky that when Bill Barretta performs him, he has to wear a harness kinda thing to keep Bobo steady. One take ended abruptly with Bobo toppling over, which cracked up everyone in the room, including Nathan Lane. Lane found Bobo pretty hilarious in general, and he struggled to get through a few takes without laughing. Hearing Bobo speak inspired several people in the room to do their own Bobo impressions, which makes me wonder if the annual informal holiday Talk Like a Pirate Day should be replaced by Talk Like Bobo Day.

Between takes, Joe introduced me to director Kirk Thatcher, who told us that Letters to Santa was greenlit and put into production quite suddenly. The whole shoot, in fact, will total only 15 days, which is less time than I take between trips to the laundromat.

After the scene was finished, I met and chatted with Steve Whitmire, Eric Jacobson, Dave Goelz, and Noel MacNeal. Here's the thing about real live Muppet people: They're impossibly friendly, and they're almost as interested in the Muppet fan community as we are in them. Several of them commented on the recent New York Times article about Disney's big plans for the Muppets, which they described as "mostly accurate." They did not, however, comment on the difficulty of the Sudoku in that issue of the Times.

After the scene was finished, it was time for the cast and crew's favorite part of the day: lunch break! Joe and I talked some more with Steve and Kirk, as well as Bill Barretta. Among other things, they mentioned that Frank Oz had briefly dropped by the set last week to say hello. Apparently he's a bit of a Muppet fan himself.

One thing that came up over and over again throughout the day was a feeling of optimism among everyone involved. All the puppeteers believe Letters to Santa is a genuinely good Muppet production in the spirit of the classic stuff. Dave Goelz described it as the best thing they've done since Muppet Treasure Island, with "the perfect mix of lunacy and heart." I think every single puppeteer we talked to used the word "heart" in their assessment of the new special. This thing is lousy with heart. Which is great news for all the fans, unless maybe there's a faction of fans who've always felt the Muppets would be better if they were really mean.


During the break, we also got to talk to Andrew Samson and Scott Ganz, two of the writers on the project (along with Hugh Fink, who wasn't there that day). They have a lot of ideas for the Muppets, and I really got the impression that they're One of Us. Or Two of Us, or whatever. They're a couple of guys who grew up watching and loving The Muppet Show and the movies, and they want to see the characters get back to doing the kind of material they did in their heyday. Also notable: Scott's wife Brooke ran the "Sesame Seventies" fan website a few years ago, which was a fun and groovy celebration of Sesame Street's crazy disco records.

Soon it was time to start shooting again, and it was more airport stuff. One thing that struck me as the day went on was the fact that, although we only saw a tiny portion of the production, every single shot we saw them do had a joke in it, and all the jokes were funny. Unless we just happened to see the only funny scenes in the entire special, that bodes well. And as Joe pointed out, the performances seemed to get funnier with every take. If that's always the case, how do they know when to stop?

Another thing I noticed: Muppet performing is hard work. The scenes we saw them shoot had several human extras, but the sets were not "built up" to allow the puppeteers to perform standing up, so they had to sit and kneel and crouch and contort and roll around on wheely things (which probably have a real name other than "wheely things"). And while we tend to take for granted that a Muppet can do anything a human can do, the mere act of Rizzo putting his coat in an airport security bin required several attempts to get right.

Of course, it would have been easier to just cut the Rizzo coat-placing. I'm sure it's not crucial to the plot, but they kept doing it until it worked. I know this is going to sound cheesy, so maybe you want to skip this paragraph, but somehow it seemed very true to the spirit of the Muppets, and even to Jim Henson's own creative philosophy. From Kermit playing the banjo in an actual swamp in The Muppet Movie to Gonzo driving a lawn mower in Muppets From Space, it's always been about creating a world in which the Muppets are real, living beings. So they did take after take until Rizzo got it right. Man, if it had been a real airport, the people in line behind Rizzo would have been seriously ticked off: Just drop your coat, already! (And by the way, what's this talking rat doing at the airport?)

And after all that trouble with the Rizzo shot? They immediately did it again, with a shot requiring Pepe to hold various objects in each of his four hands, and drop them in the bin one by one. This required Bill Barretta, Matt Vogel and Peter Linz to squeeze in close together so they could each perform a prawn hand or two. I couldn't help but think it's a good thing none of the Muppet performers smell bad. Marty Robinson called that gag "a joke that's easy to write, but hard to do"... but once again, they did it until it worked.

While this stuff was going on, Joe and I got a chance to talk to the aforementioned Marty, Matt, and Peter, and they were all a bunch of jerks. No, of course that's not true at all. Like everyone else, they were as nice as could be and very enthusiastic about the new special. This was also about the time I saw one of the puppet wranglers stapling Kermit's winter shoes together so he could hold them in the next scene. I think it would be amazing, when your friends ask you what you've been doing at work, to be able to say, "Oh, today I stapled Kermit the Frog's shoes together."

To a humble, slack-jawed yokel like myself, the whole process of shooting a big TV project like this is pretty impressive. Great care was taken for every shot to ensure that no puppeteers' hands or heads were seen onscreen. Kirk Thatcher made sure Fozzie carried the same candy cane from shot to shot, for "continudity" purposes. And a few times, Kirk and the writers had to confer on whether or not a particular joke would be allowed in a Muppet special.


Speaking of which, here's an interesting tidbit: Remember Gonzo/The Tin Thing's line "Those are my nipples" in The Muppets' Wizard of Oz? I thought that was pretty darn funny, but I was surprised it made the cut. Well, the story behind that came up during a discussion about what the Muppets can and can't get away with: Dave Goelz thought up the line and jokingly suggested it to Kirk Thatcher, prefacing it by saying, "We'll never actually use this, but it would be funny if Gonzo said..." And then Kirk put it in the movie! And that's the story of Gonzo's nipples.

The next scene we saw was an interaction between Fozzie and Bobo. Have we ever even seen those two talk to each other before? Here you have two of the greatest fictional bears ever (equal to Winnie the Pooh, and miles above Andy Williams' Cookie Bear) and they're both part of the same entertainment franchise, but I really don't remember ever seeing them in the same scene. I predict that once viewers find out about this moment, they'll flock to the special by the billions.

During this scene, Scott Ganz told us that a lot of the last-minute additions to this production were "stolen" directly from the script he and Samson and Fink wrote for the now-canceled election special. Which is reasonable. If you're working on a new Muppet special, and you happen to have a perfectly good, unused Muppet script lying around, you might as well use it, right?

At one point, there was a young kid present on the set... I'm not sure who he belonged to, but he was having a good time. As things were getting set up for one of the last scenes of the day, Bill Barretta brought Pepe over to talk to him, which was pretty great, although I'm not sure the kid had any idea who Pepe was. Pepe asked him about school and his favorite subjects, but he politely rebuffed the kid's attempts to stick a candy bar wrapper in his mouth.

It was also around this time that some glossy photos of the main Muppet cast (not to be confused with The MuppetCast) were making their way around the room. These were being autographed to give away to kids, and each puppeteer actually signed his characters' names on each copy. Of course, they could have easily gotten some intern to do that, but instead they guarantee that those kids get the authentic John Hancocks of Kermit, Bunsen, Animal, et al. And for the record, Eric Jacobson does a lovely Piggy signature.

The last shot of the day required Kermit, Gonzo, Pepe, Rizzo, Fozzie and two penguins, so it was all hands on deck for the puppeteers (For those of you keeping score: Steve was Kermit while Noel was Rizzo, Peter was Fozzie's right hand, and Matt and Marty were the penguins). This was some kind of POV shot, apparently taken from the perspective of another character watching the Muppets from a distance, and there didn't seem to be any specific scripted dialogue.

This allowed the puppeteers to ad lib, and danged if they didn't come up with something different to say for every single take. Once, Gonzo confided to Kermit, "If you run fast enough [through the metal detector], you don't have to take your belt off." Another time, Kermit noted that the security checkpoint is easier to get through when you don't wear clothing.

After a few successful takes of this shot, Kirk Thatcher announced that it was a wrap for the day, and everyone quickly dispersed. Joe and I, amazed that we were allowed to stay so long without being politely kicked out, said our thank-yous and exited to the real world, a world where prawns can't talk and bears rarely wear sweaters.

There's still a lot we don't know about Letters to Santa. And we know even less about the Muppet feature film that's being planned for 2010. But I have to say, I'm feeling more optimistic about the future of the Muppets today than I have in quite a while. The creative people know -- and they know that we know -- that not every production from the last 10 years or so has been a home run. But the enthusiasm on that set was pretty infectious, and while I've been "cautiously optmistic" about most of the recent Muppet productions, this time around I think I'll drop the adverb and just look forward to seeing what my favorite characters are up to this Christmas.

Click here to comment on this article on the Tough Pigs forum!

ToughPigsRyan@yahoo.com

Labels: celebrities, christmas, in development, interview, Muppet performers, Muppets on TV, the muppet show

About a week ago, I found a post on a Brooklyn Heights blog with an image of a notice on a lamp post saying that “Muppets Prod, Inc.” would be filming in the area on Monday morning. Being a Brooklynite myself, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to see real live Muppets, as I’m sure none of us could. So I woke myself up extra early and bustled down to the Heights for what I hoped would be a good show.

For those who don’t know, “Letters to Santa” (working title) is a Muppet Christmas movie set to premiere on NBC this holiday season. According to the description written on a notice: “Our characters are forced to give up their Christmas vacation plans, of escaping the NY snow, to help get Santa’s lost mail into his hands before Christmas Eve.” I don’t know about you, but I’m gripping the arms of my easy chair already!

I showed up at 8:00am and stood on a street corner in front of a Cosby-esque brownstone and watched as 16 people stood in the late summer heat wearing winter coats, hats, and scarves. There was no doubt about it, this was a Christmas movie. A synagogue had been altered slightly to look like a US post office. The people all stood impatiently as a mailman drove his van up to the building, walked up the stairs, and went back to do it all over again. And again. And again. I forget that when making a real film, one take is never enough. The repetition made me dizzy.

But still, no Muppets to be seen. That’s when I saw Steve Whitmire and Bill Barretta, and a minute later, Kirk Thatcher. Now, people who know me well know that I’m fearless when it comes to talking to celebrities on the street. I’ve approached many here in New York, and most of them are happy for the attention. But when Steve and Bill walked past, I suddenly turned to a nervous ball of sweat and shakies. Crap! There goes my chance. Might as well go home, head in my hands.

Knowing the fuzzy ones were nearby, I wouldn’t even think of leaving until I saw a Muppet, so I stayed. I waited until Kermit made his little green face shown, followed immediately by Piggy, Fozzie, Gonzo, Camilla, Pepe, and a team of rat carolers (adorned with tiny reindeer antlers). They went through a scene a few times and while I marveled at the fact that there were real Muppets mere feet away, I noticed that the crowd around me grew and grew. Parents were holding their kids up in the air to see Miss Piggy, kids were refusing to go to the playground (lest they miss the frog do something funny), and adults were dumbfounded that this was actually happening in their neighborhood. One woman in particular was completely unfazed, as Brad Pitt was two blocks away just last year. Psshh, girl didn’t know what she was talking about: Frog always trumps Pitt.

During a pause in filming, Steve brought Kermit into the crowd to say hi to some of the kids (he did this several times during the day, and while this might get tiring to you or me, he seemed to find a new delight with every child he made smile, and rightly so) when I finally found the courage to introduce myself. He shook my left hand since Kermit was sitting on his right, and said that he loves ToughPigs.com (Hi Steve!), but he really must get back to filming and he’ll try and stop for a conversation later. Ok, that might have been a very polite blowoff, but at least he was enthusiastic.

During the next pause in filming, the crew took an ice cream break (ye gods, I want to work for these people!). Steve came and found me in the crowd. Come on, he said, I’ll introduce you to the guys. I didn’t care who “the guys” were, I’d be following. Steve then introduced me to Martin Robinson, Tyler Bunch, Noel MacNeal, and Matt Vogel (Hi guys!). They were kind enough to chat with me for a while. Unfortunately, they didn’t have much info on upcoming productions (which was what most of my prepared questions involved), but I did get a lot of behind-the-scenes tidbits.

For example: Martin Robinson has no idea that people know what he looks like, as evidenced by the fact that I congratulated him on his recent marriage before he said his name. Puppet designer Jane Gootnick is the one responsible for the recent appearance of The Swedish Chef’s wedding ring. Dave Goelz performs, and has always performed, the eyes for Sweetums via remote. Martin Robinson was able to have his wedding on the Sesame Street stoop for free because nobody had ever asked before (though he did have to pay three unions since they were using a TV studio). And so on and so forth.

While we were milling about, an entourage of large black cars filled the street. None of us had any idea what was going on. Then New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg stepped out and readied himself for a cameo in the movie. Someone mentioned that he must be filling the role listed as “Handsome Celebrity Male” in the script. Well, they’re about half right (Sorry, Mike! I couldn’t resist). Then, just as quick as he appeared, Mr. Mayor fled into the night, joining David Dinkins and Ed Koch on the list of New York Mayors with articles on the Muppet Wiki. Yeah, I’m sure that’s why he agreed to it.

Puppet designer Bonnie Erickson, who, to my knowledge, hasn’t worked on a Henson production in some time, also showed up for the filming. It turned out that she lives only a few blocks away, and a phone call from Dave Goelz sent her running to the set. She also claims to enjoy ToughPigs.com (Hi, Bonnie!), and was just as thrilled to see the Muppets making a quality production as I was. And then her husband asked to take my picture, which means I’ve got to become famous quick, or else the photo will be worthless.

When the puppeteers got ready for the next scene, Steve pulled me aside again and helped me to find a cranny-like nook to squeeze into to watch the filming up close. When Kirk Thatcher saw this, he introduced himself (and no, Kirk, we almost never say you’re a bad director!) and took me into the director’s tent to watch the monitors over his shoulder. After every shot, Kirk would swear, yell, or wisecrack, then turn around and explain to me why directing is hard. And then I bit my tongue to keep from bringing up his appearance in Star Trek IV.

I then met Hugh Fink (formerly a writer for Saturday Night Live) and Andrew Samson who, along with Scott Ganz (not present), have been given a 1-year development deal with Disney to write for the Muppets. According to Fink, their pitch to Disney consisted of an idea for a Muppet roast and the previously announced election special. Disney loved the latter idea and had them sign on the dotted line. Unfortunately, now neither production is going forward, but they did write the script and screenplay for “Letters for Santa”, and they’ll continue to write for the Muppets for as long as the funny holds out. It seems that Disney’s finally getting a clue as to who their audience should be, and they’re showing it by hiring Fink to give them a “late night sensibility”, which sounds a whole lot easier to stomach than the ill effects of Studio DC.

I also discovered that not only did Paul Williams provide the music for the film, but it all stemmed from his original pitch. And that gives a whole new credence to the production. Add that to the great performers, Kirk Thatcher, and new writers Hugh Fink, Andrew Samson, and Scott Ganz, and we’ve got a Christmas movie that might just make it onto a few shelves. I know it’ll be on mine.

The last person I met was Kevin Frawley (apologies if I spelled your name wrong!), who talked up the recent Muppet productions with such enthusiasm that he gave me a true hope that the Muppets are back in the entertainment game for good. He also showed an unwavering faith that the Jason Segel-penned Muppet Movie will premiere in 2010, no matter what the trends of in-development movies are. He seemed genuinely concerned that the Muppets were previously only being kept barely alive for merchandising purposes and that he is making it his personal vendetta to keep them making quality productions. That’s a man I want fighting for the Frog.

At this point, I got a slight fear, like a sneeze about to ruin my family’s Thanksgiving dinner, that I might be looking over everyone’s shoulder a little bit too much. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that I may be there to have fun, but everyone else is there to work. So I made the hardest decision of my life and left the set. The puppeteers and crew were all incredibly cordial and never hinted that I was disturbing them, and a few made the offer for me to go back later this month (assuming they approve of this write-up, I suppose). So I guess I’ll do that. Y’know, if I’m still into Muppets by then.

It’s nice to know that we’re all on the same team, the fans and the creators. Everyone wants every production to be great, and everyone wants there to be more of everything. I want to thank everyone who took the time to talk with me, including the folks I mentioned in this article, the puppeteers, the P.A.s, the Creative Affairs department, and anyone I may have accidentally stepped on. Special super thanks to Steve Whitmire, who turned me from an outsider to an insider. Also for being the Frog.

There are a few things that I learned that didn’t quite fit into this article, so please head on over to the ToughPigs forum where you’ll get some more details about the Emmet Otter musical, the Muppet election special, and more. It’s also a great place to find me if you have any questions (but sorry, I won’t reveal plot details or anything said under strict confidence. However, I will plagiarize this book I have about ethics).

Labels: celebrities, christmas, in development, interview, Muppet performers, Muppets on TV

How many Muppet Christmas specials have there been? Twenty? A hundred? Nine thousand? It must be one of those numbers.

And now there's another one on the way... The Hollywood Reporter is, um, reporting that NBC is working on Letters to Santa: A Muppets Christmas. Which is interesting, because you might think that Disney, who owns the Muppets, would want their special to air on ABC, the network which they also own.

But whatever. If there's one thing Muppets know how to do well, it's being merry at Christmas, so this should be fun. The plot is something about the Muppets intercepting kids letters to Santa Claus, which promises to be just adorable.

Guest stars include Whoopi Goldberg (Will she be reprising her role as God from It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie?) Tony Sirico and Steve Schirripa from The Sopranos (Will they be reprising their roles as Bert and Ernie from Elmo's Christmas Countdown?), and some people from Harry Potter. And the Reporter says the songs will be by Paul Williams, who wrote the songs for a little thing called Emmet Otter's Jugband Christmas.

So, assuming The Hollywood Reporter has their facts straight, the whole thing is really just going to be a Muppet Christmas reunion. Ho ho ho.

Click here to comment on this story and eat some figgy pudding on the Tough Pigs forum!

Labels: christmas, Muppets on TV, news

The Jim Henson Company, much like you and I, thinks that Christmas is keen. In fact, they've been thinking that for almost 50 years. In fact in fact, they have had such a crush on Christmas that they use the United States Postal Service to tell all their friends. And what better way than to include doodles of Muppets? If there is a better way, I haven't thought of it.

Below, you'll see 37 Christmas cards from Muppets Inc./The Jim Henson Company. Some of which are drawn by Jim himself, and some of which were used to promote specific productions. All of these images come courtesy of MikePop's blog. Enjoy!

Click here to discuss the true meaning of Christmas on the ToughPigs forum!

Labels: christmas, jim henson company

The following was written while watching Elmo's Christmas Countdown. Many of my thoughts don't make sense, partly because they were written as train-of-thought and partly because I rarely make sense anyhow. Enjoy!

7:00 – All right, I’m all ready and set for the new Sesame Street Christmas special, Elmo’s Christmas Countdown. I’ve got a bowl of popcorn, a blanket to protect me from this December chill, and the laptop for journaling my experience of watching the special for the very first time. Um, maybe a buttery treat wasn’t such a great idea if I’m going to be typing. Ok, scratch the popcorn and let’s start the special!

7:03 – It’s no secret to people who know me that I can’t stand Ben Stiller. Something About Mary was the only movie I’ve ever walked out of in the theater. I’m going to try hard to not hate everything about Stiller the Elf off the bat. So, without having seen him so far for more than a minute, my only real gripe (so far) is that he’s funny looking. Like, in a bad way. He doesn’t have much of a Muppety look (maybe if they made him out of an Anything Muppet it would have worked better?). Though I do have to say, the lip-syncing is pretty good, considering how big this role is.

7:05 – Ooh, I love this pop-up book set! It sure is pretty. Not pretty enough to make me want to replace the old set, but damn pretty anyway. I hope they have it available on their website to print out so we can make our own Christmassy Sesame Street set.

7:07 – Oscar is great. Not that should be of any surprise to anyone. I like the reference to “I Hate Christmas” from Christmas Eve on Sesame Street.

7:10 – Here’s Oscar Winner Jennifer Hudson. If they’re going to have a whole song for all 10 blocks, they’d better hurry up so they can be done in time for… hmm, what’s on after this? “Duel”? Oh, take your time, Sesame Street.

7:12 – I swear, I’m trying to not loathe Stiller the Elf, but he’s not making it easy. I want to grab him by his fuzzy eyebrows and pull until I hear seams start to tear.

7:14 – Of COURSE Bert has a Celebratory Bowl of Oatmeal.

7:20 – “My little elfin buttox”. Did I hear that right? Did Stiller the Elf just make a butt reference? Can someone let me know so I know whether to increase my Ben Stiller vendetta or, um, edit this article?

7:21 – “I Want a Snuffleupagus for Christmas” is my new favorite Christmas song. Because it’s true.

7:23 – There’s something wrong with this Sopranos Bert-and-Ernie skit. Ah, I know. They’re not dropping enough F-bombs to make it believable. Also, Prairie Dawn is brilliant here. This is Fran Brill’s most entertaining performance since Merlin’s Assistant on The Jim Henson Hour (“Ta-Daaaa!”).

7:27 – I’m starting to think Ben Stiller was only chosen for this role because he’s a self-loathing Jew. Which I would assume most Elves are.

7:33 – I have no idea who this lady is. [During “Do You See What I See”] And as impressive as all these celebrities are, none of them are as satisfying as it would be if these roles were filled by Gordon, Bob, or Susan. And none of them will ever be as famous. Right?

7:36 – I’ve just been informed that she is Alicia Keys. And she has number 6. How convenient.

7:37 – Hey, it’s Oscar Winner Jamie Foxx as an action figure! I wonder if he ever thought he’d be made into an action figure back when he was best known for his role as “Wanda” on In Living Color.

7:43 – Boxes 4, 3, and 2 all at once? Well, that’s one way to make sure we finish this special on time.

7:44 – Did.. did Charles Blitzen just make a fart joke? Again, can someone verify that for me?

7:45 – The Count, a new Sesame TV parody, and Ty Pennington running around like a lunatic? This might be my favorite part of the whole special.

7:47 – There’s something about Muppets wearing hats that I absolutely adore. And Grover’s Christmas top hat is no exception.

7:49 – “I believe in Christmas miracles!” So, Stiller the Elf hasn’t believed in Christmas miracles this whole time? Being an elf, doesn’t that make him a Christmas Miracle himself?

7:50 – I heard a rumor that Cookie Monster doesn’t eat cookies anymore. He just eats ALL OF CHRISTMAS IN ONE BITE! Oh, and vegetables.

7:56 – “I believe! I believe! I believe!” Yikes, Sesame Street is trying to convert me.

7:56 – Kevin James makes easily one of the worst Santas ever. But for some reason, I love it.

7:58 – “Actually, I was going to say ‘Peace Out’…” Forget what I said.

7:59 – Ah, the annual Hanukkah/Kwanzaa mention. And it was said by a talking snowball. Oh well, we can’t all be the Pee-wee’s Playhouse Christmas Special.

Here’s some very brief final thoughts in an already too-long article. The Countdown was a clever way to cram some new songs and sketches into the special, all of which were pretty fun in their own rights. The overall story with the Elf and a very passive Elmo were pretty weak. Plus, it left me with some unanswered questions. Like, why did the Elf think that Oscar would have the most Christmas spirit? And what does it mean that Christmas Almost Didn’t Happen? And who the hell thought it’d be a good idea to give Ben Stiller his own Muppet? These questions may never get answered, much like my questions about how candy canes are made.

Click here to open a Snuffleupagus-sized box on the ToughPigs forum!

Labels: christmas, Sesame Street

Guess who's nominated for a Grammy? If you guessed "the Muppets," you're correct! (If you guessed "Amy Winehouse," you're also correct, but that's not who I'm going to write about, at least not today.) Last year's album A Green and Red Christmas was nominated for Best Musical Album for Children. Now, this CD came out way back in October of 2006... so what better time to review it than December 2007? So join me, won't you, as I make some hot chocolate and listen to this year's only Grammy nominee that features a song by a prawn.

Labels: awards, christmas, music, review

Christmas is rapidly approaching, and that can only mean one thing: It's time to blow the dust off your copy of The Muppet Christmas Carol and sit down to enjoy a lovely adaptation of a classic work of literature, presented exactly the way author Charles Dickens envisioned it. Christmas Carol is a warm, funny, pleasant film with a lot to recommend it, but there is one major problem with it, and that problem is called "When Love Is Gone."

There's a scientific theory that states that every musical has to have one Boring Song. The Boring Song is a slow number, usually about some dull subject like love, during which the kids in the audience start fidgeting and the grown-ups' attention starts drifting to more interesting thoughts, like 5.99% fixed APR financing. In Guys and Dolls, it's "I've Never Been in Love Before," in the film version of Grease it's "Hopelessly Devoted to You," and so on, and in Christmas Carol it most definitely is "When Love Is Gone." The whole movie grinds to a screeching halt as Belle, a character we don't know very well, stares into space and sings about how she and Scrooge used to be in love but now they're not and boo hoo hoo. Oh, and there are no Muppets onscreen for the duration of the song, which lasts about 4 minutes.*

But hey, the good news is, you don't have to sit through it. With that in mind, I hereby present 27 Things to Do During "When Love Is Gone."

-Make two two-minute eggs.

-See if you can drink hot chocolate through your nose.

-Build a snowman in your living room.

-Draw on your TV screen so it looks like Belle has a goatee and antlers.

-Pick your nose.

-Darn your socks.

-Learn to juggle.

-Stand on your head and say, "Belle! Whut in tarnation are you doin' hangin' from the ceiling?"

-Balance your checkbook.

-Balance your checkbook on your nose.

-Try to name all the Muppet Show guest stars in alphabetical order by middle name.

-Grow a moustache.

-Flip through your copy of the original Charles Dickens Christmas Carol until you find the page where Bob Cratchit goes ice-skating with penguins.

-Give yourself a tattoo of Michael Caine.

-Catch up on the Tough Pigs forum.

-Read the "linoleum" article on Muppet Wiki.

-Browse the IMDb message board for Muppet Christmas Carol, which includes this thought-provoking inquiry: "You know how in the original story of A Christmas Carol, there is only the ghost of Jacob Marley and he doesn't have a brother? Obviously, they altered this for the movie in order to have Statler and Waldorf in the role. What I just noticed is the name that they give the new character... Robert Marley, which was also the full name of singer Bob Marley. I wonder if it's just a coincidence or if the filmmakers did it on purpose?"

-Leave your own review on IMBb, in which you explore the deep socio-political metaphors inherent in the "light the lamp, not the rat!" scene.

-Practice your moose call.

-Mentor a child.

-Mentor a moose.

-Read the back of the DVD case out loud in the manner of a lucha libre wrestling announcer.

-Put some hydrogen peroxide on that before it gets infected.

-Mute the TV and make up dirty lyrics to the song, and sing them in a piercing falsetto (if you can't do piercing falsetto, try a Mortimer Snerd voice.)

-Go to eBay and place a $538 bid on this "UGLY Christmas sweater small w/REAL JINGLE BELLS"

-Clean the octopus tank. (Applies to octopus owners only.)

-Read Danny and Kynan's My Week with The Muppet Christmas Carol article from a few years back.

-Have a contest with your friends: As the scene goes on, bellow the word "BOOO-RING!" and see who can go the loudest and draw it out the longest. The winner gets to sing a duet with Michael Caine.

There you have it. Try any of these suggestions, or ALL of them, and the song will be over before you know it. Merry Christmas!

*It's interesting to note that, as it's explained on Muppet Wiki, the song was cut for the American theatrical release of the film. It was later restored for home video. Why? Only Brian Henson and the Ghost of Christmas Past can say.

Click here to discuss this article on the Tough Pigs forum!

ToughPigsRyan@yahoo.com

Labels: christmas, lists, Muppet movies