Update #5 on Sept. 16 at 10:00pm.

D23, Disney's answer to Comic Con for Mickey fanatics, was the big event over in California this weekend. Amidst all of the Pirates, Poohs, and Plutos, Disney found the time for some big Muppet announcements. The big one being: Disney has not forgotten that they own the Frog.

We had a few agents in the field at D23's Muppet panel, and we're proud to bring the latest news to you of what Walt has in store for all those dogs and bears and chickens and things.

First off, the Muppets appeared in Friday's big Disney presentation, which you can view a bit of in the video above. The Muppets sang to some prerecorded tunes, and they make a second appearance at the end of the video.
As we mentioned yesterday, The Cheapest Muppet Movie Ever Made is being dusted off and handed to Jason Segel (of I Love You Man and How I Met Your Mother fame). We have no word on what will happen to his "The Greatest Muppet Movie Of All Time" script, but the promise of a theatrical Muppet movie (the first since Muppets in Space in 1999) has got us paying attention. Of course, the elephant in the room is Kermit's performer. Will Steve Whitmire be back for the Muppets' biggest break in years? That's a question for another blog. UPDATE: We've got a promotional picture! For realz.
Hey, remember those fantastic YouTube videos from last year? Well, so does Disney. They've announced that more of them are on their way, and this time they're branching out and recording non-Public Domain songs. "Bohemian Rhapsody", "Dust in the Wind", and "Stand By Me" will hopefully show up on your YouTube station soon (check local listings). UPDATE: We have more info on the upcoming viral videos! Dust in the Wind will be sung by Beaker, Bohemian Rhapsody by the Electric Mayhem and Gonzo, American Woman by Sam the Eagle, Popcorn by The Swedish Chef, as well as Carol of the Bells. Also, at least three Muppet Labs videos are coming, including "Carve-O-Matic", "Pumpkin Carving", and "Ghost Hunting". UPDATE #2: Stand By Me will be sung by Carl the Big Mean Bunny. No, really.
I am a bad Muppet fan, because I am one of the few who haven't been to a Disney theme park since Muppet*Vision 3D came out. Thankfully for me (and I guess you guys too), Disney will be releasing a "Remastered" version of the show into their parks. I don't know what that means, but it sure sounds exciting! Not to mention, maybe it'll still be there by the time I can afford a ticket to Orlando.
Also at the theme parks, the successful Muppet Whatnot Workshops will be opening new stores, causing exhausted parents to lug those giant bags around while their kids ride Space Mountain. The Workshops will also be carrying new puppet designs, accessories, and facial features, so now you have to buy at least three more! UPDATE: We have pictures of the new Whatnot accessories, plus monster fur!
More theme park stuff! Remember how we all marveled at the Muppet Mobile Labs, featuring an animatronic Bunsen and Beaker riding through the crowds, actually talking to and playing games with passers-by? Pretty soon, there will be another Mobile Muppet vehicle, and it'll be the Electric Mayhem bus! You'll be able to do the Hokey Pokey with Dr. Teeth, listen to Janice wax poetic about her trip to the beach, and watch Zoot take a nap! The possibilities are endless!
Rumors flew by a few months ago regarding a Muppet Halloween special, due out this Halloween season. And since we're already halfway through September, that rumor is decidedly bunk. Or, it was, until Disney announced that the Halloween special will be out next year. And while we wait for details about that, feel free to play through Muppet Monster Adventure for your PlayStation video gaming system and pretend it's a new TV special.
Got an iPhone? Muppet iPhone apps are coming! Personally, I have a phone shaped like a letter I, and the apps for it are terrible. Thanks for nothing, AT&T! UPDATE: We have images of two of the iPhone app ads! Soon you'll be able to carry Sexy Pepe around with you wherever you go.
Cat Cora, best known as one of the Iron Chefs on Iron Chef America, will be starring in an online cooking show with the Muppets. Will she be cooking bacon with Piggy? Bear claws with Fozzie? French Fried Frog Legs? Buns and Honeydew? Figs in Space? Yeah, I have no freaking idea. UPDATE: The show will be online this fall and will feature funny topics like "Food You Can Eat with Your Hands Night" and "Food That Gets Caught in Your Mustache Night".
More Steiff plush dolls are on their way, featuring Kermit and Piggy (UPDATE: A Fozzie Bear doll is also on its way!). We featured an article here on ToughPigs recently about the ridiculous price for the Kermit doll, so you'll excuse us if we don't foam at the mouth over more merchandise we can't afford. The good news is that there will be affordable merchandise. For example...
Pook-a-Looz! The name that means nothing! They're cuter than Ugly Dolls, and not even attempting the realism of, well, any other dolls you can think of. So far we've seen Kermit, Animal, Gonzo, and Fozzie, but I wouldn't be surprised if more were right around the corner. They'll be available in large and "keychain" sizes. I have already fallen in love with the Kermit doll, and the cuteness of Fozzie burying his face in his neckerchief has already got me emptying my wallet.
While we wait patiently with our hands folded on our laps for the Swedish Chef Christmas ornament coming out this holiday season, Disney is already jumping the gun on next year's design. Get ready for Animal at his drumset! Nothing says Christmas cheer like a furry beast chasing your wife and shouting "WOMAN! WOMAN!"
Disney is hoping that "Vinylmation" will be the next big fad for toy collectors. The toys are all shaped like Mickey (ears and all), but will have different paint jobs to resemble different characters. Some come out looking a little strange (like Kermit), and some are adorably ugly (like Sweetums). I think they'd all look less creepy if they didn't have Mickey's "nose", which would keep their faces from looking all wonky.
Statler and Waldorf will be breaking out their typewriters (which I'm sure they use to write many letters of complaint to various newspapers) and penning a book. I'm going to hazard a guess and say that the book will be in the same format as the awful "It's Hard Out Here for a Shrimp" and "The Diva Code". Look forward to our we-read-it-so-you-didn't-have-to review here on ToughPigs! UPDATE: We have a cover! Are you excited yet? How about now?
Weezer, who I'm still mad at for stealing my music video idea, will be recording a new version of "Rainbow Connection" for an upcoming CD due out next year called "Muppets Revisited". UPDATE: We have album art and more artist info! The Fray, Ami Lee, My Morning Jacket, and Andrew Bird will be singing Muppet covers too! I'm hoping for more songs, because that would make for one short album.
The Muppets will appear on David Foster's Christmas special this December with Andrea Bocelli. And since we don't have a picture of it yet, please enjoy this picture of Boccelli with Elmo and pretend it's, oh I dunno, Beaker. UPDATE: And now we have a picture! So that previous sentence makes absolutely no sense.
UPDATE: Muppet Halloween costumes! I'm thinking about having a kid just so I can dress him up as Fozzie Bear. Adowable!
UPDATE: Kermit will once again sing "I Believe" at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, this time with Tiffany Thornton. Are they trying to make this an annual thing? Because Thanksgiving already has that day saved every year. UPDATE #2: Kermit and Piggy will also be appearing in the Walt Disney World Christmas Parade Show, which will air on ABC on Christmas Day.
UPDATE: Lots more merchandise! Boy, that Kermit guy really likes being green, doesn't he?
UPDATE: We have images of two of the new parody posters that will be outside the revamped Muppet*Vision 3D show. Another one which we don't have an image of yet is Beaker as "BEAK-E". Hopefully Disney will turn these into a calendar or something so we can all enjoy them! UPDATE #2: We found BEAK-E!
And lastly, here's the big news for most of you out there. Studio DC: Almost Live will be released next year! What's that? You thought Studio DC was unwatchable? Well then maybe you'd prefer The Muppet Show Season 4 DVDs! (That's what we call the ol' switcheroo.) Yes, finally we're taking the next step toward actually owning legitimate copies of The Muppet Show, and this one will feature Gonzo and his schnozz on the cover. UPDATE: We have DVD cover art! I'm happy to see it's an old Gonzo picture, and not, say, the "chili pepper shirt" Gonzo. Then again, I'd be happy if it had Don Rickles on the cover, just as long as we get these DVDs!

And that's the bulk of what we learned at D23! We'll update this page as necessary if more reports come in this week from other D23 attendees, so feel free to bookmark and revisit. And as always, we'll keep you in the know on a more instant basis via the ToughPigs forum and our Twitter feed.

Special thanks to Danny Horn, Wilson Swain, and Greg James for all this amazing info! And thanks to Leighanne for those culinary puns!
Click here to discuss ALL of these Muppet news bits on the ToughPigs forum!

Labels: Disney, merchandise, Muppet movies, news

I don’t know about you, but I’m sick of “Muppets.”

“But hold on there, Mr. Ryan!” you might say. “What about The Muppets Take Manhattan? Surely – surely, I say! – you’re not suggesting it should have been called The Muppet Take Manhattan?!?!?!?!?” To which I reply: “Don’t be ridiculous, you little Dickens, you!” Here’s the difference. In The Muppets Take Manhattan, the word "Muppet" is a plural noun.** In the other cases I’ve mentioned, "Muppet" is more or less an adjective. That’s a good way to remember it, anyway: If the title still makes sense when the word "Muppet" is replaced by an adjective, the singular should be used. Let’s try it on some other titles:

Labels: complaining, fanaticism, Muppet movies, The Muppet Show

A few weeks ago, I called upon you to submit your own redesign to the upcoming Letters to Santa DVD, which will sport the mysterious and captivating O-Sleeve. Much to my surprise, a few of you actually sent pictures in! Well done, few-of-you!

Let's take a looksee at what ToughPigs readers think of Letters to Santa and that pesky O-Sleeve.
Special thanks to everyone who submitted a picture! You guys are all aces in my book.

Click here to discuss Stephen King's level of talent on the ToughPigs forum!

Labels: Christmas, DVD, fan art, Muppet movies

Who is Kermit the Frog? He's often described as the glue that holds the Muppets together. When Jim Henson's colleagues are asked which character Jim was most similar to, the frog is often the first one name-checked: He was the guy making everything work, a straight man in the middle of a throng of eccentrics. -"I wish I'd never been born!" Freakouts are seemingly rarer in Kermit's Steve Whitmire era, but Whitmire showed us he could bring the frantic with Kermit's Christmas Eve rant in It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie. The Muppet Theater has been lost to a greedy corporate type, and Kermit blames himself. His self-loathing diatribe to Daniel the angel (which mostly consists of variations on "I WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN!") is really just a device to steer the movie into the "world without Kermit" sequence, but it manages to be sad and hilarious at the same time.
On the Freakout-o-meter: 9



-Stop That Bus Stop
Even rarer than a Kermit/Cookie Monster pairing is a Kermit/Oscar the Grouch pairing, and this one finds Kermit understandably displeased when Oscar tries to build a bus stop in his living room. "This is a terrible place for a bus stop! What kind of bus is going to drive into my living room?!" he demands, and of course the next thing that happens is a bus drives into his living room. You can't stop civic progress. As I was watching Sesame clips in preparation of this article, I noticed that they almost never used the same set more than once to represent Kermit's apartment, but if you think about it, there's a perfectly reasonable explanation: He keeps moving, in a desperate, futile effort to prevent the other Muppets from dropping by and annoying him.

On the Freakout-o-meter: 4
Watch it on the Sesame Video Player!


-Kermit's Telephone Demo
So we've seen Kermit abused by Grover, Cookie Monster, and Oscar. Now how about America's dumbest urban cowboy, Forgetful Jones? In this sketch, Kermit tries to teach Forgetful how to use the telephone, and of course everything goes smoothly and Forgetful gets it right on the first try and nothing funny happens whatsoever.

On the Freakout-o-meter: 3
Watch it on the Sesame Video Player!

-Piggy is fired
This is the one, right here. In the Loretta Swit episode of The Muppet Show, Miss Piggy leaks a story to a tabloid that she and Kermit are secretly married. To say that Kermit is unamused would be a vast understatement. "I will not stand around while you do dumb things like that!" he snaps, and when she asks what he's going to do about it, he has an answer: "I'll tell you what I'm going to do, Piggy, I'm going to fire you! Piggy, you are fired! You are fired, Piggy! You are fired! FIRED!" And he fires her! But of course she's back by the end of the episode. You know, sometimes when I watch this stuff it really hits me just how dysfunctional Kermit and Piggy's relationship is.

On the Freakout-o-meter: 10
Watch it on YouTube!


-"Go ahead and walk!"
In The Great Muppet Caper, Kermit confronts Piggy at a duck pond in the park, the day after she tricked him into believing she was Lady Holiday. This scene is really more about Kermit and Piggy snapping at each other...

PIGGY: I'm playing over 800 different emotions here!
KERMIT: Well, why don't you try playing one of them right?!
PIGGY: I have a career of my own! I don't need this lousy duck pond!
KERMIT: Okay, sure, go ahead, walk! Walk! Go ahead and walk!

...than a rant from Kermit, but it's entertaining as always to see him make scrunchy faces and breathe heavily. Naturally, this scene of Kermit and Piggy screaming at each other is immediately followed by the most romantic scene in the movie, the "Couldn't We Ride" number.
On the Freakout-o-meter: 5


-The Huggies
And here's another classic Kermit/Piggy scene that confirms the notion that for these two crazy lovebirds, yelling is like foreplay. Kermit's just discovered that Piggy (whom he thought was far away at a new job) has been spying on him and his new friend Jenny. If she's just a friend, Piggy demands, why were you giving her the huggies? And then I just have to quote the scene:

KERMIT: Jenny and I were hugging because we're friends! That's what friends do! Friends do not spy!
PIGGY: I spied because I care!
KERMIT: I care too!
PIGGY: Well, why don't you say so?!
KERMIT: I JUST DID!
PIGGY: ALL RIGHT!
KERMIT: AAAGH!
PIGGY: AAAGH!
KERMIT: AAAGH!
PIGGY: AAAGH!

So the only thing that can come next is a romantic carriage ride around Central Park.

On the Freakout-o-meter: 8


Now I'm trying to remember, and I honestly can't: When was the last time we saw Kermit yell? I can only hope it happens in the next Muppet movie. I mean, lots of Muppet characters and guest star cameos are great, but could we have Kermit flipping his lid, please? Thanks.

Click here to tell me which Kermit freakouts you can't believe I forgot on the Tough Pigs forum! And scroll down to the previous post for some Tough Pigs April Fools' Day merriment!

Labels: fanaticism, Muppet movies, Muppets on TV, Sesame Street, The Muppet Show

Hey, did you see that awesome Fraggle Rock Movie script review from the other day? It was totally neat! And legible!

For my next trick, I’ll be reviewing Jason Segel and Nick Stoller’s Muppet movie script, tentatively titled “The Greatest Muppet Movie of All Time.” That’s quite a claim, seeing as we’ve got at least three movies that have already laid claim to that moniker. But will the upcoming film put itself in the running to earn its own title? Probably not, but it will probably come a lot closer than anything else from the last couple decades.

Just like my Fraggle script review, I’m going to keep this one as spoiler-free as possible. If spoilers are your thing, Ain’t It Cool News scooped me on their script review, and they loaded it with lots of stuff which, if you read it, it’ll totally ruin your movie-going experience. I’ll be focusing more on what us Muppet fans will think of the script rather than specific details. Ok, enough of the boring stuff, let’s get to the meat!

Our story starts with Gary (to be played by Jason Segel) and his not-quite-a-Muppet, Walter. Walter is a Muppet fanatic (sound like anyone you know?), almost to a disturbing degree. He’s a little hard to read; depending on the performance, he can have that “new Muppet smell,” or he can be the Jar-Jar Binks of the Muppet world. Walter comes fully-stocked with his own catchphrases and that patented mixture of silliness and heart, but without knowing who’s performing him, I can only speculate. And sadly, the script doesn’t help my opinion. As we all know, the best characters come from the puppeteers themselves, and I’d be wary of any character written to be “one of the gang”.

Gary (and his girlfriend, Mary) appear a little two-dimensional in the script, but I’m more willing to ignore it for now. Segel is known for ad-libbing in his films, and as long as he’s given that opportunity in this movie, he might go down in history as one of our favorite human Muppet movie stars (after Charles Grodin, of course). I think it’d be a mistake to not let them ad-lib anyhow, because not only do Segel and friends shine under those circumstances, but the Muppet performers do as well. And the script leaves enough room for improvisation for some great potential (not to mention some terrific DVD extras). Segel also wrote himself some scenes that reek of his fanaticism, like flirting with Piggy, singing a song on the Muppet Show stage, and having a hand in getting the Muppet gang back together. It’s not a bad thing; I would probably put myself in the same roles if I were writing the script.

Almost ten minutes into the movie, we see our first Muppets. Statler and Waldorf have their standard cameo to introduce the main conflict (and to break the fourth wall), and then disappear until the credits. Gary, Mary, and Walter push the plot forward for another five minutes until we find Kermit, whose intro (if done well) is a hilarious parody of a familiar family film. Fifteen minutes until we see the Muppets is a bit long to wait, and as important as the plot is, I’d think about cutting that down. Especially because these family films tend to run on the short side, and we’re going to want as many Muppet sightings as possible.

As Kermit tries to get the gang back together (which is thankfully done in the first act, rather than being the purpose of the entire movie), we’re treated to our first batch of cameos, parodies, and fast-paced cut scenes. There’s a few of these in the film, which help keep the visuals exciting, but might sell out the film to the pop culture references that plague the Shrek franchise. The cameos are almost all A- and B-list celebrities, which is a little high to reach, even for Jason Segel. He does have a lot of famous friends, and I would love to see most of them agree to be in this film, but I can’t help but wonder if Segel and Stoller are setting themselves up for the C- and D-listers that they’ll be able to schedule and afford. Still, every big name mentioned in the script would be a real honor to add to the Muppet Wiki.

Segel also has his favorite characters, which get a lot more screen time than previously. Kermit and Fozzie thankfully stay the most visible, but characters like Janice, Rowlf, and Sam the Eagle have several spotlights of their own. He also knows how the Muppets’ comedy works, avoiding obvious puns and giving us clever and fast-paced jokes to keep us on the edge of our seats. He also makes a point of saying that every effect will be done with puppets as opposed to CGI. One of the climactic scenes is labeled with, “In our one or maybe two CGI shots in the entire film, we see a wide shot of Los Angeles…” but perhaps I’ve said too much.

There are also several specific throwbacks to the previous Muppet movies, including cameos, props, and entire songs. Segel has said in interviews that he is trying to make a Muppet movie that goes “back to their roots”. What better way to do that than to cut-and-paste from those movies he’s trying to emulate? Thankfully, it’s done in a believable way, keeping it fresh for audiences not as familiar with the original films, yet easily recognizable for everyone else.

One problem a lot of the fans have is that it’s another “We have to put on a show to save the Muppets!” plot. Well, that’s true. But it works. The movie isn’t epic in the sense that the Muppets are saving the world or discovering the meaning of life, but they’re doing what they do best, and I’d argue that it’s the kind of movie they need to make to reestablish the property and give us more original storylines. Still, the show they put on is only a portion of the script. There’s a lot of action and mystery throughout the rest of the story that will keep it far from predictable.

One awkward scene is a big announcement regarding the future of the Muppets. Sure, we’d love to see a new Muppet Show, but it doesn’t seem like it’s the right place to make a declaration like this. It reads more like wishful thinking on Segel’s part, and I would be surprised if the plans set during the production of the film are still in tact by its release. And because we’ve been teased and burned before, I’m sure we’ll all stay wary, even after hearing the big news.

All in all, the script gives me hope that we might actually get another good Muppet movie one of these days, even if it isn’t the Greatest of All Time. Segel’s got a good idea of how this movie should be, and he understands how we fanatics think. My hopes and expectations are high, or at least as high as they could possibly be in a post-Jim universe, and that might be the very best Jason Segel and Nick Stoller can expect from us.
Just like for the Fraggle Rock movie script, I will be answering non-spoiler questions on the ToughPigs forum and via e-mail, so feel free to contact me either way.

Click here to discuss the Greatest Review of All Time on the ToughPigs forum!

Labels: Muppet movies

Wow, it really looks like this YouTube thing is taking off! People really seem to like watching things move on their computer screens. And who can blame them? I've been watching things move in real life for years now.

The Muppets have been tossing videos online a lot recently, and we don't want any of you folks to miss out on the good ones. Which is all of them. So get your popping corn ready, because it's Movie Sign!

First up is an official (read: not fan-made) music video to promote Letters to Santa, featuring clips and outtakes from the movie. Be cautious, as spoilers abound.


Next is the furry, the funny, the fabulous Fozzie Bear, along with Bobby Flay, demonstrating how one might go about building their own Whatnot. After the show, Bobby Flay served his Whatnot with a light raspberry creme sauce and braised asparagus on the side.


Live from the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, here's Kermit singing the brand new song, "I Believe". This is not to be confused with the opening lyrics of Whitney Houston's "Greatest Love of All".


Here's a backstage view of the brand spankin' new Emmet Otter musical. Click here and scroll down a tad for the vid. It's times like these when I wish I knew anything about embedding videos in HTML. Sorry folks.

Kermit and Piggy made it to the lighting of the giant mutant tree at Rockefeller Center. Here they are introducing the very talented, and very off-screen, Harry Connick Jr.


Lastly, here's four teaser videos from NBC.com for Letters to Santa. Put your spoiler goggles on, as we've entered the SPOILER ZONE! Someone wake Kenny Loggins up.




We now return you to your regularly scheduled ToughPigs blog, now more motionless and static than ever before!

Click here to view video responses on the ToughPigs forum! Or, y'know, regular ones.

Labels: celebrities, Christmas, Muppet movies, Muppets on TV, Thanksgiving, Whatnot Workshop

For many weeks, the Muppet fan community has been buzzing over the announcement that actor Jason Segel, who costars on How I Met Your Mother and who wrote and starred in Forgetting Sarah Marshall has been signed to write the next new Muppet movie. This announcement has given us all a reason to go on living, but it's also raised many questions. Jason Segel has done hundreds of interviews in the past few months, what with promoting Sarah Marshall and talking about his next movie, and most of the interviewers ask him about the Muppet project.

But you don't have time to read hundreds of interviews. You have more important things to do, like shaving your alpaca. Fortunately, Tough Pigs is once again here to save your life, with our Frequently Asked Questions About the New Muppet Movie That That Guy Jason Segel Is Writing, otherwise known by the useful abbreviation FAQATNMMTTGJSIW.

Rest assured: We have all the answers.

Q: When will the new movie start filming?
A: We don't know.

Q: When will the new movie be released?
A: We don't know.

Q: What will the new movie be called?
A: We don't know. But it will absolutely, positively not be called Muppets Underwater.

Q: Why?
A: Jason Segel has made it very clear the he really, really doesn't like the movie Muppets Underwater.

Q: Wait, is that a real thing?
A: No. Presumably, he made it up as an example of the type of gimmicky Muppet movie he doesn't want to make.

Q: Okay. But if it were a real thing, what would the story be?
A: It would be about the government hiring a team of the world's leading scientists (the Muppets) to explore the remains of a 357-year-old shipwreck off the coast of Africa which is rumored to be haunted... but first they have to avoid getting eaten by sharks!

Q: Huh. Okay. So if Muppets Underwater were a real movie, what bonus features would be on the DVD?
A: Commentary by director Michael Bay, Kermit the Frog, and breakout new Muppet character Marty the Rappin' Giant Squid, and a featurette on the making of the incredible "rat synchronized swimming" sequence.

Q: Wow, that sounds really -- wait a minute! Aren't we supposed to be talking about the new script?
A: Oh yeah.

Q: Who will direct the new movie?
A: Nick Stoller, Segel's buddy who directed Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

Q: Is Jason Segel a real Muppet fan?
A: Yes. His script for Forgetting Sarah Marshall included a few Muppet references. And in fact, he got the Muppet gig by pitching his idea to Disney.

Q: By the way, is his last name spelled "Segel" or "Segal"?
A: Yes.

Q: Is there a big Hollywood star that Jason Segel would compare to Kermit the Frog?
A: Yeah... Tom Hanks. Segel has mentioned several times that he sees Kermit's "Everyman" appeal as very similiar to that of Hanks. Can't you just see Kermit starring in Splash or The Man With One Red Shoe?

Q: So what's the plot of the new movie?
A: We don't know a lot yet, but Segel has revealed that it involves Kermit rounding up all the Muppets to put on a big show to save the Muppet Theater from a greedy oil tycoon who wants to get at the oil reserves located under the theater.

Q: Haven't they already done that "put on a show" thing?
A: Yeah, pretty much. But this one will be... different. Somehow. Maybe.

Q: Will my favorite character be in the movie?
A: Segel and Stoller have commited to working in all the major classic Muppet Show characters, right down to Sam the Eagle and Statler and Waldorf. But if your favorite character is a more obscure, latter-day creation, you might be out of luck. Sorry, Spamela Hamderson fans.

Q: Statler and Waldorf? Who are they?
A: The old guys.

Q: Has Jason Segel written a cameo for Charles Grodin?
A: Why, yes, he has. Though that doesn't necessarily mean Grodin will agree to do it. There were 12 years between his last two movie roles.

Q: Will there be any other cameos?
A: Yes. Segel wants to capture the feel of the first three theatrical Muppet films, and celebrity cameos will be a part of that. He has mentioned that his pals Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, and Mila Kunis all want to be in the movie.

Q: I want to be in the movie.
A: Me too!

Q: Will Jason Segel appear in the film?
A: Most likely. Nick Stoller has mentioned that there's a part for Segel as a ventriloquist whose dummy dreams of being a Muppet.

Q: I saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Will Jason Segel be naked in the Muppet movie?
A: No. But Kermit will.

Q: Will there be lots and lots of CGI effects in the movie?
A: Gosh, we hope not.

Q: Will the movie be good?
A: Gosh, we hope so.


Extra special thanks to Tough Pigs' own Joe Hennes for creating the pictures for this article.

Click here to discuss this article on the Tough Pigs forum! Especially if you are Jason Segel.

Labels: celebrities, in development, Muppet movies

As a well-connected Muppet fan, chances are that you have heard the big news. No, not that Thog was appointed as George W. Bush's new press secretary. The Fraggle Rock movie is officially in pre-pre-preproduction! Ok, maybe that’s old news for those of us who read about it two years ago, but it’s always nice to see something new when you do a Google search for “Fraggle”.

Labels: Fraggle Rock, in development, Muppet movies

If you have access to popular media in just about any form (and you’re reading this article, so that’s a pretty good indicator), you’ve probably heard at least one reference to Jason Segel’s private parts recently. The writer and star of the new Apatow-gang comedy Forgetting Sarah Marshall forgoes his inhibitions in the name of his art repeatedly over the course of the film. Which brings only one question to the minds of Tough Pigs everywhere: Will he do the same for the Muppets?

What you may not have seen in the movie trailers, but have read in just about every interview Segel has given on the subject, is his new favorite story. It begins with the Henson Company designing puppets for a scene in Sarah Marshall, continues with Segel asking the Henson folks and then a roomful of Disney representatives what forthcoming projects to expect from the Muppets, then includes a moment of Segel’s anguish at the Muppets’ hackneyed abuse in recent years (“Enough with Muppets in the Old West and Muppets Underwater,” he’ll usually sigh at this point), and culminates with Segel signing on with fanboyish glee to write his very own Muppet movie.

Let Muppet enthusiasts everywhere rejoice! With Segel (and by extension, comedy hitmaker Judd Apatow) backing the project, nothing could possibly stand in the Muppets’ way! Unlike that America’s Next Muppet reality show and that Bert and Ernie travel series and the Fraggle Rock movie, this promise might actually deliver. Or will it? Now that we’ve seen Forgetting Sarah Marshall, how much excitement can we allow ourselves over this curious new prospect?

The nail-biters among us cringe. A novice to this genre, I wasn’t fully prepared for the degree of unabashed vulgarity in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Even though I laughed throughout, part of me wondered whether the same mind that just made a herpes joke could write in the Vaudevillian house style of the Muppets – rotten puns, corny gags and all. What if the "pearl necklace" joke in all the trailers were to be recast on our favorite pearl-wearing swine? Is the world ready for foam rubber full frontal?

Then again, Segel consistently touts his eagerness to return the Muppets to their roots. Reluctant to admit Muppets Tonight-era characters into his plans, Segel comes off as something of a Luddite; he’d rather see his old pals back in the spotlight, acting in their own story rather than in a recycled plot à la Muppet Treasure Island. He’s made abundantly clear that in his movie, the Muppets play only themselves, putting on a show to save their theater and featuring a healthy dose of celebrity cameos.

Let’s see how this sentiment plays out in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. As per Segel's vision, the movie features plenty of familiar faces. These actors, including many of Segel's friends now clamoring for Muppet movie cameos, look familiar in 2008 - but Muppet fans have cause to hold out for larger-than-life stars. (Feel free, incidentally, to join the hubbub over an expected Charles Grodin cameo and then name your top celebrity cameo choice on the Tough Pigs forum.) It’s all very well to see Kenneth from 30 Rock basically playing himself in Sarah Marshall, but will it stand the test of time in the manner of Joan Rivers powdering Piggy’s nose?

While we're on the subject of keeping the material timeless, I'd like to pitch my own plea for Segel to resist the temptation to write overtly topical material (i.e. no Miley Cyrus jokes). The Muppets became famous performing passé old songs; they risked irrelevance when nearly-outdated pop culture references became the easiest way to entertain. As Segel well knows, the Muppets revolve around more than gags; it's the particular wackiness of each character that makes the whole package funny. The Forgetting Sarah Marshall characters mostly fit this bill, ranging from believable (the hero, a self-destructive schmo), to regrettably predictable (the two lead females), to a supporting cast of genuinely amusing, almost Muppety in their singularity, one-note buffoons.

To Segel’s credit, the warm-heartedness and essential good cheer at the center of the more beloved Muppet projects show in the tone of Sarah Marshall. The movie pares the population of the Turtle Bay resort down to a handful of guests and employees, all interacting as though no one else were present, all running into only each other and making neighborly inquiries after each other's shockingly public sex lives. Even the celebrity hotel guests play along and mingle with the commoners. It's like watching a Love Boat episode, only with more reasonable hairstyles. If the Muppets were here, they’d even have their own ready-made Gopher.

All signs indicate Jason Segel’s intentions to be pure. We know for certain that he’s sick of Muppets Underwater (and after the third or fourth time reading an interview that references this fictional folly, so are the rest of us – though I estimate that it would stand a decent chance of rating higher than The Muppets’ Wizard of Oz on the watchability scale). If nothing else, the numerous Muppet references throughout Sarah Marshall, not to mention the Henson Company-heavy Dracula musical at the movie’s conclusion, reveal a deep-seated affection for puppets in Segel. His reported childhood admiration for Kermit touched even my curmudgeonly old heart. After ensuring that no one forgets Sarah Marshall, can Jason Segel be trusted to retrieve the Muppets from oblivion, too?

Click here to make your own cameo on the Tough Pigs forum!

Labels: celebrities, in development, Muppet movies

It's been almost a month since I announced the "Who Will Be Jim" contest, and we're ready to crown the winners! Ok, so there aren't any actual "winners," much like in a soccer game. Except that sometimes people do win in soccer. So maybe that wasn't the best analogy. The special prize for those of you who participated in giving us your thoughts on who could play Jim Henson and Company is getting to see your name in print in a Muppet Fan blog. Congrats!

Now let's get to the Jims (and Franks and Jerrys and Richards, etc)!

Jim Henson

Robert Downey Jr. (suggested by Kynan)


Steve Whitmire (suggested by Kellie)


Johnny Depp (suggested by Neil)


Josh Charles (suggested by Kynan)


Jeff Daniels (suggested by Brad)


John Cusack (suggested by Kynan)


William Hurt (suggested by Joe)


Jason Segal (suggested by Kynan)


Daniel Day-Lewis (suggested by Ryan)


Ryan Gosling (suggested by Brad)


Jeff Bridges (suggested by Joe)


Cate Blanchett (suggested by Peter)


Frank Oz

Peter Sarsgaard (suggested by Kynan)


David Cross (suggested by Brad)


Bernie Brillstein

Robert Prosky (suggested by Andrew)


Richard Dreyfuss (suggested by Kynan)


Jerry Juhl

Andy Richter (suggested by Ryan)


Philip Seymour Hoffman (suggested by Tom)


David Lazer

Tony Shaloub (suggested by Kynan)


Bradley Whitford (suggested by Kynan)


Lew Grade

Robbie Coltrane (suggested by Ryan)


Jim Broadbent (suggested by Andrew)


Bob Hoskins (suggested by Andrew)


Maurice LaMarche (suggested by Michal)


Richard Hunt

BJ Novak (suggested by Kynan)


Jay Baruchel (suggested by Kynan)


Hank Azaria (suggested by Joe)


Jane Henson

Maggie Gyllenhaal (suggested by Kynan)


Chris Langham

Hugh Laurie (suggested by Ryan)


Dave Goelz

Joshua Malina (suggested by Kynan)


So, if anyone from the offices of Penny Marshall are reading, now you know who to cast. See, we make it easy for you!

And if anyone has more ideas for who you think should play Jim & Co., please stop by the ToughPigs forum and let us know!
Click here to discuss the many beards of Jim on the ToughPigs forum!

Labels: fan art, fanaticism, Muppet movies, reader participation

Lots of folks got lots of ideas over on the ToughPigs forum about who's got the chops to play Jim Henson in a possible feature film. But as we all know, Jim's only part of the story. Who will play Frank Oz? Steve Whitmire? Jerry Juhl? Frank Biondo?

Yeah, all bets are off! Cast everyone in The Works! Get your tuchus over to the ToughPigs forum and add in your $0.02. Or, if you're camera shy, you can send an e-mail to yours truly at joe.toughpigs@gmail.com.

Image courtesy of ToughPigs' own Brad!

Labels: fan art, fanaticism, Muppet movies, reader participation

According to the internets, it's official (or would that make it "e-fficial"?): there is a Jim Henson biopic in the works. The movie will be about Jim's life, successes, tribulations, and maybe some puppets. That is, if the Jim Henson Company, Disney, and Sesame Workshop can all allow the puppets to be in the film. Or else we might be getting two hours of a tall guy with a beard with nothing on his hands.

But the question remains: who out there can fill the shoes of the man behind the frog? I mean, other than this guy. Head on over to the ToughPigs forum with an idea or two. Feel free to post pictures (double points for fancy Photoshopping), and we'll post the results here on ToughPigs.com next week.

Prizes for the best choices will include bragging rights and a walk-on role in the upcoming Frazzle documentary.

Labels: fan art, fanaticism, Muppet movies, reader participation

Come, my darlings, and let me read you a story. It’s a story full of magic, suspense, clinical depression, sombreros, the bastardization of Christmas, and one Very Brief Cameo.

Once upon a time, as far back as you or I can remember, even as far back as November, 2007, a mediocre movie premiered called Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium. The movie starred a very old Willy Wonka and his magical Wal-Mart. He is joined by the weird girl from Garden State and Teen Wolf Jr. Oh, and that kid who wouldn’t take a shower in Wet Hot American Summer.

You may ask yourself, “What sort of craziness will come of the unification of such minds?” Well yourself, nothing short of the finest art imaginable! That is, assuming “finest” means “below par, and slightly painful.” If that’s what you meant, then you were right on target. Sorry if you thought.. y’know, skip it. Just try not and get your hopes up.

In the should-have-been-straight-to-DVD Blockbuster hit, Mr. MacGonacle’s Wonderful Monacle, a crazy old man hangs out with kids, prophesizes his own death, watches his store (read: not a euphemism for his libido, we swear.. no, really) crumble to pieces, and (SPOILER ALERT) dies, passing all of his responsibilities (read: debt) along to his daughter-like protégé. I assure you, none of the story has anything to do with why you’re reading about this on a Muppet fan site.

About 14 minutes into the film, in the middle of a montage of what it would be like to hang out in a store like this without parental supervision, money, school, or brand names, our very own Kermit the Frog makes a cameo as himself.

I now present to you the full scene of Kermit’s appearance.

INTERIOR, DAY

KERMIT THE FROG ENTERS AISLE CARRYING A SHOPPING BASKET

KERMIT (BROWSING): Ooh. Aha.

KERMIT NOTICES KIDS

KIDS (STARING LIKE THEY’VE NEVER SEEN A TALKING FROG BEFORE): Tee hee.

KERMIT: Heya. Just, uh, (NODS) uh, shopping. (MORE NODS) Shopping. (EVEN MORE NODS) Just, um, shopping.

KERMIT EXITS

And 13 glorious seconds after it began, it is all over. The movie, in case you were wondering, has another hour and 15 minutes to go, which is sufficient time to think of about 11,000 better ways to have spent your $10.75.

So, would I recommend Mr. Willowby’s Wonder Tree? Ye gods, yes! 13 seconds of Muppets in a feature film is the most screentime they’ve gotten since 1999! Totally worth sitting through Dustin Hoffman’s Bugs Bunny impression.

By which I mean, please don’t go see this movie. Kermit will be just fine without the proceeds of this film. If he can survive that cameo in Glitter, he can survive anything.

Click here to come up with more funny words that sounds like "Magorium" on the ToughPigs forum!

Labels: Muppet movies, review

Christmas is rapidly approaching, and that can only mean one thing: It's time to blow the dust off your copy of The Muppet Christmas Carol and sit down to enjoy a lovely adaptation of a classic work of literature, presented exactly the way author Charles Dickens envisioned it. Christmas Carol is a warm, funny, pleasant film with a lot to recommend it, but there is one major problem with it, and that problem is called "When Love Is Gone."

There's a scientific theory that states that every musical has to have one Boring Song. The Boring Song is a slow number, usually about some dull subject like love, during which the kids in the audience start fidgeting and the grown-ups' attention starts drifting to more interesting thoughts, like 5.99% fixed APR financing. In Guys and Dolls, it's "I've Never Been in Love Before," in the film version of Grease it's "Hopelessly Devoted to You," and so on, and in Christmas Carol it most definitely is "When Love Is Gone." The whole movie grinds to a screeching halt as Belle, a character we don't know very well, stares into space and sings about how she and Scrooge used to be in love but now they're not and boo hoo hoo. Oh, and there are no Muppets onscreen for the duration of the song, which lasts about 4 minutes.*

But hey, the good news is, you don't have to sit through it. With that in mind, I hereby present 27 Things to Do During "When Love Is Gone."

-Make two two-minute eggs.

-See if you can drink hot chocolate through your nose.

-Build a snowman in your living room.

-Draw on your TV screen so it looks like Belle has a goatee and antlers.

-Pick your nose.

-Darn your socks.

-Learn to juggle.

-Stand on your head and say, "Belle! Whut in tarnation are you doin' hangin' from the ceiling?"

-Balance your checkbook.

-Balance your checkbook on your nose.

-Try to name all the Muppet Show guest stars in alphabetical order by middle name.

-Grow a moustache.

-Flip through your copy of the original Charles Dickens Christmas Carol until you find the page where Bob Cratchit goes ice-skating with penguins.

-Give yourself a tattoo of Michael Caine.

-Catch up on the Tough Pigs forum.

-Read the "linoleum" article on Muppet Wiki.

-Browse the IMDb message board for Muppet Christmas Carol, which includes this thought-provoking inquiry: "You know how in the original story of A Christmas Carol, there is only the ghost of Jacob Marley and he doesn't have a brother? Obviously, they altered this for the movie in order to have Statler and Waldorf in the role. What I just noticed is the name that they give the new character... Robert Marley, which was also the full name of singer Bob Marley. I wonder if it's just a coincidence or if the filmmakers did it on purpose?"

-Leave your own review on IMBb, in which you explore the deep socio-political metaphors inherent in the "light the lamp, not the rat!" scene.

-Practice your moose call.

-Mentor a child.

-Mentor a moose.

-Read the back of the DVD case out loud in the manner of a lucha libre wrestling announcer.

-Put some hydrogen peroxide on that before it gets infected.

-Mute the TV and make up dirty lyrics to the song, and sing them in a piercing falsetto (if you can't do piercing falsetto, try a Mortimer Snerd voice.)

-Go to eBay and place a $538 bid on this "UGLY Christmas sweater small w/REAL JINGLE BELLS"

-Clean the octopus tank. (Applies to octopus owners only.)

-Read Danny and Kynan's My Week with The Muppet Christmas Carol article from a few years back.

-Have a contest with your friends: As the scene goes on, bellow the word "BOOO-RING!" and see who can go the loudest and draw it out the longest. The winner gets to sing a duet with Michael Caine.

There you have it. Try any of these suggestions, or ALL of them, and the song will be over before you know it. Merry Christmas!

*It's interesting to note that, as it's explained on Muppet Wiki, the song was cut for the American theatrical release of the film. It was later restored for home video. Why? Only Brian Henson and the Ghost of Christmas Past can say.

Click here to discuss this article on the Tough Pigs forum!

ToughPigsRyan@yahoo.com

Labels: Christmas, lists, Muppet movies

For generations, one question has been burning in the minds of heterosexual male Muppet fans - which female Muppet movie lead is the most attractive?

For years, there were only two contestants - Juliana Donald as sweet, adorable young Jenny in The Muppets Take Manhattan and Diana Rigg as high class hottie Lady Holiday in The Great Muppet Caper. The debate was civil in those days, as the two groups largely remained separate. The Jenny guys hung out at their personal Pete's Luncheonette, while the Lady Holiday men strove to find a 17 Highbrow Street of their very own.


Since the fabled Muppet comeback of 1992, things have gotten more complicated as three new contestants have entered the ring - Meredith Braun as Scrooge's (literally) scene-stealing lost love Belle in The Muppet Christmas Carol, Joan Cusack as delightfully evil vixen Rachel Bitterman in It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie, and Ashanti as Dorothy Gale, the Kansas girl with big dreams in The Muppets' Wizard of Oz. The argument rages now more than ever, and only your input can help bring it to an end.


So, which human is the hottest? Has Lady Holiday won your love with expository dialogue? Would you let Jenny fill in your moustache? Perhaps Ms. Bitterman stole your heart and replaced it with Club Dot. Maybe you look forward to being an old man just so you can go back in time and sing a duet with Belle, or you wait outside for the tornado that will take you to Dorothy. Whoever you prefer, vote now so the debate can end peacefully. The owners of 17 Highbrow Street are getting a little tired of all the Lady Holiday fans hanging around.

Labels: Muppet movies, poll, reader participation

Over at the ViewAskew.com message boards (insert Silly Bob/Charles Barklay joke here), writer Brian Lynch was asked about his script for a new Muppet movie that was bought by the Henson Company back in 1999 and never made. The movie was called "The Next Muppet Movie," which is already a much better sequel title than "Back to the Future II."

But don't take my word for it, take Levar Burton's, who said "But don't take my word for it." Here's Brian's words, spoiling away at a movie that was never made.

The name of it was THE NEXT MUPPET MOVIE, and it was the same universe as THE MUPPET MOVIE, only years and years later, and the Muppets were hugely successful and some were getting kind of spoiled. Kermit's trying to keep them together and he's stressing out.

Anyway, an evil Hollywood agent signs the Muppets and starts putting them in solo movies and TV shows (Gonzo is the next James Bond and the next Batman, the Electric Mayhem goes Marilyn Manson-y after Animal starts a solo rap career, that kinda thing).

Kermit has to pull together a makeshift band of Muppets (Robin, Rizzo, Pepe, Bean Bunny, Digit from THE JIM HENSON HOUR, etc.) to re-start the Muppet show.

Eventually Kermit figures out the Agent had an ulterior motive in breaking up the Muppets, goes to confront the Agent, gets kidnapped, and the original Muppets have to work with the newbies to save him. The ending involves a lot of Ninjas, a giant Elephant, a seven foot Kermit, and Gonzo saving the day by crashing through the skylight in his Batman gear.

The Agent runs away, the Muppets all come back together, everyone is happy...

...but at the very end, we see the Agent gets dropped off by a taxi, fully ready to try to break up a new group. As he walks away, we pan out and reveal he's on Sesame Street.

Cameos were from Pierce Brosnan, John Cleese, Mary Tyler Moore, Marilyn Manson, all the Sesame Street Characters, Mr. Rogers, the Teletubbies...it was epic.

I talked to Michael Keaton once who had read the script and wanted to meet me because of it. I asked him to play the agent if it ever got made, and he said that would be cool. I'm very sorry it didn't get made.

That's the most I've ever spoiled about it. It was like a purging.

Wow, lookit what we could have had! I'm sure Digit's agent is kicking himself now.

Click here to talk about this article, which may never get made, on the ToughPigs forum!

Labels: Muppet movies, unfinished projects