Tough Pigs Anthology

April 2003

 

Breaking News

Part 3: Aladdin's lamp

 

Cast: Jim Henson (Kermit), Frank Oz (Aladdin), Jerry Nelson (Genie).

 

    

 

 

Kermit

 

Aw, it's so dark in here, I can't see a thing... where's that camera cable around -- whoop!  [ CRASH! ]  It's right down there somewhere. Hey, could somebody turn on a light in here? Huh? Turn on some lights!  [ They do. ]  Oh. Ahem. Hi ho, this is Kermit the Frog, speaking to you for Sesame Street News -- and tonight, I'm speaking to you from the home of Aladdin, the owner of that world famous magic lamp. And here he is now, hello, excuse me, Mr Aladdin.

 

Aladdin

 

Oh, hi, Frog! You can call me Al!

 

Kermit

 

Okay, Al -- can you tell us, Al, you're rubbing your magic lamp there, I see...

 

Aladdin

 

Yes!

 

Kermit

 

Yes. Why are you doing that?

 

Aladdin

 

Well, because it doesn't work! Until you arrived, I was completely in the dark.

 

Kermit

 

Is that right.

 

Aladdin

 

Here. I'll try rubbing it again. 

 

 

    

 

 

[ POOF! With a puff of smoke, the Genie appears. ]

 

Genie

 

Hey knock off with the rubbin', will ya? I'm tryin' to sleep in this lamp!

 

Kermit

 

Look at that, folks.

 

Aladdin

 

That's the Genie. Genie -- this is the frog. Frog, Genie. Genie, frog. 

 

Kermit

 

Uh, yeah.

 

Aladdin

 

Frog, Genie.

 

Genie

 

How ya doin', frog.

 

Kermit

 

Yeah, I recognize you by your light brown hair.  [ chuckles ]

 

Aladdin

 

Ha, ha. Ha, ha.

 

Genie

 

Very funny.

 

Kermit

 

Uh, listen, Genies can do anything, why don't you fix Aladdin's lamp, here?

 

Genie

 

Hey, come on, I'm a Genie, not an electrician! What do I know from lamps?

 

Kermit

 

Oh. Uh, y'know, Aladdin, I think I got -- I see one thing that's wrong with your problem here.

 

 

    

 

 

Aladdin

 

Do you? What's that, frog? 

 

Kermit

 

Well, you see, your lamp doesn't have a lightbulb. 

 

Aladdin

 

Ohhhhh!

 

Kermit

 

See, that kinda lamp needs a lightbulb up there.

 

Aladdin

 

A lightbulb, up there! That's a good idea! I'll just go get a lightbulb! 

 

Kermit

 

Okay.

 

Genie

 

Yeah, he needs a lightbulb, and I need another job. Ya ever try livin' inside a lamp?

 

Kermit

 

Is that right? Pretty dark, huh?

 

Aladdin

 

Here's a lightbulb! Here we go!

 

Kermit

 

Yeah, well, just screw it in the socket up there.

 

Aladdin

 

All right. I'll do that. How's that? Well?

 

Kermit

 

Okay, uh...

 

Aladdin

 

It still doesn't work!

 

Kermit

 

Yeah, but -- 

 

Genie

 

To think I coulda worked for Ali Baba instead of this dingaling.

 

Aladdin

 

We'll just wait here until it works.

 

 

 

    

 

 

Kermit

 

Well, Al... there's another thing here. Al?

 

Aladdin

Mmm?

 

Kermit

 

See, the lamp has a plug. See? It has an electric plug there... and, yeah, it's just sitting on the table...

 

Aladdin

 

This is a PLUG?

 

Kermit

 

Yeah.

 

Genie

 

It has ta be plugged in!

 

Kermit

 

It has to be plugged in to the outlet.

 

Aladdin

 

Plugged in?

 

Genie

 

Aw, brother...

 

Aladdin

 

Plugged in?

 

Kermit

 

You've got an electric outlet back there, you gotta plug it in.

 

Aladdin

 

Ah! All right. I'll try this.

 

Kermit

 

Mm hmm.

 

Aladdin

 

Here goes!

 

Genie

 

Do you believe this dingaling?

 

Kermit

 

Well, not really, but, uh...

 

Aladdin

 

Okay! Lamp, do your stuff!

 

Kermit

 

Um... Al?

 

Aladdin

 

No, it still doesn't work, frog!

 

Kermit

 

Al?

 

Genie

 

Brother...

 

Aladdin

 

Yes?

 

Kermit

 

Al...

 

Aladdin

 

I'll just keep waiting...

 

Kermit

 

Well, Al, did you try turning on the switch?

 

Aladdin

 

The what?

 

Kermit

 

The switch -- there's an electric switch up there, on the lamp.

 

Aladdin

 

There is?

 

Kermit

 

Mm hmm.

 

 

    

 

 

Aladdin

 

Where -- oh, you mean THIS switch over here!

 

Kermit

 

Yeah, see, right there? You gotta turn that on, and that makes the electricity go to the bulb. 

 

Aladdin

 

Well, I'll be. Sounds crazy to me, but I'll try it! Here goes!  [ He switches the lamp on. ]  My lamp! It works! WOW!

 

Kermit

 

Isn't that wonderful!

 

Aladdin

 

Wow! It sure is wonderful.

 

Genie

 

It is NOT wonderful! Not with me! You know I can't sleep with the light on! Alaka-ZAM!

 

 

    

 

 

 

 

[ With a puff of smoke, the Genie disappears. ]

 

Aladdin

 

Oh, my Genie is gone. But my lamp works! And you fixed it, frog!

 

Kermit

 

Okay, that's wonderful. This is Kermit the Frog, returning you to your studios, okay?

 

Aladdin

 

Oh, don't go yet...

 

Kermit

 

I'll see ya around, Ali Baba.

 

Aladdin

 

You have to fix my magic toaster! And my magic hot comb! Oh, frog... Wow. My lamp works.

 

 

    

 

 

Next in the Anthology:

 

"Blow THIS house down? 

Ha, ha! 'Tis to LAUGH!"

 

Part 4: Three Little Pigs

 

 

News Flash contents

 

 

Danny@ToughPigs.com

 

 

Tough Pigs Anthology Contents

March 2003 -- The Early Days of the Muppet Show Comic Strip

Feb 2003 -- Ernie vs Bert

Aug/Sept 2002 -- The Road to Hollywood

July 2002 -- The Decline and Fall of Gorch, part two: The Fall

June 2002 -- The Decline and Fall of Gorch, part one: The Decline

May 2002 -- Giant Frogs!

April 2002 -- April Frog's Day

March 2002 -- The Muppets Take Madison Avenue

February 2002 -- Kermit and Piggy : That Magnificent Hankering

January 2002 -- Off the Street

December 2001 -- It Feels Like Christmas

November 2001 -- Muppets: 1, Host: 0