Ernie

Hey, y'know what, Bert?

Bert

Yeah?

Ernie

I'd like to do something really exciting today, huh?

Bert

Yeah? Yeah?

Ernie

You know, really exciting. Wouldn't you like to do something, you know, like, oh, I don't know, something fantastic, like, go to a parade, or maybe a circus, or, uh, how about a great big birthday party, how about that, Bert?

Bert

Well...

Ernie

Wouldn't that be exciting?

Bert

Oh, I don't know...

Ernie

Oh, boy, I'd like to do something exciting. Hmm.

Bert

Hey! I've got it! You want to do something exciting?

Ernie

Yeah, Bert!

Bert

Oh, boy! I know something!

Ernie

Whatcha got, Bert?

Bert

Oh, it's more exciting than a birthday party, or a circus, or a parade.

Ernie

Yeah? Oh, great, Bert! 

Bert

Stay right there -- I'll be right back.  [ Bert exits. ]

Ernie

Yeah? Oh, wow! Something more exciting than a birthday party, or a parade, or a circus. I wonder what it could be. Bert! What could be more exciting than a parade or a circus or a birthday party, huh, Bert?

Bert

My BOTTLE CAP collection!  

[ Bert enters, with his bottle caps arranged neatly on a bulletin board. ]

Bert

Oh, Ernie, look at them all... aren't they beautiful?

Ernie

Your... bottle cap collection?

Bert

My bottle cap collection. You wanna take a look?

Ernie

Yeah, well, uh...

Bert

Oh, be careful... are your hands clean?

Ernie

Uh, yeah, sure, Bert... yeah.

Bert

See all these beautiful little babies there? Now, up there, see, that's a Raspberry Smash, and that's a Goodo Juice -- and that's a hard one to find, a Rhubarb Delight bottle cap. 

Ernie

Oh, yeah, Bert.

Bert

Huh? Huh? Huh? I bet when you look at those bottle caps, you really get excited. Boy, I sure do.

Ernie

That's... uh, great, Bert...

Bert

You may notice that I've got two -- count 'em, two! -- Prune Pops. Huh? Is that great?

Ernie

Yeah, sure, Bert. Whoo-hoo. 

Bert

I'm going to try to get a Yummy Ade too. Oh. This is great.

Ernie

Yeah, well, uh, I tell you what, Bert, it isn't very exciting to me.

Bert

It's not?

Ernie

No.

Bert

Oh, Ernie, well, it is to me!

Ernie

Yeah, well...

Bert

Oh, yeah, I mean, after all, everyone's different. I mean, you like circuses, parades, birthday parties, stuff like that. And me -- I like bottle caps! You know, it all depends on your point of view. Right?

Ernie

Yeah, I guess so, Bert.

Bert

Sure. Now, take a look. See the center there, where there's no bottle caps at all?

Ernie

Mmm hmm.  [ Ernie yawns. ]

Bert

That place, I am reserving for the bottle cap I've been looking for, for so long!

Ernie

Yeah, Bert?

Bert

And that is the 12-ounce bottle of Figgy Fizz! That's the bottle cap I want there.

Ernie

12-ounce Figgy Fizz?

Bert

If I can only find that... oh, it would be right there.

Ernie

Yeah... Hey, Bert, uh... here you are, Bert.

Bert

What's that?

Ernie

I found it on the sidewalk this morning.

Bert

[ gasp! ]  Ernie -- it's a Figgy Fizz! 

Ernie

Mm hmm. It's a 12-ounce size.

Bert

It's a -- it's a 12-ounce size of Figgy Fizz!

Ernie

Yeah... you want me to put it in there?

Bert

Oh, be careful, though -- be careful now -- are your hands clean? Now, take it easy...

Ernie

I told you they were clean, Bert...

Bert

Oh! I found a Figgy Fizz! A Figgy Fizz! 

Ernie

Okay, there you are, Bert. All done.

Bert

Oh! That's beautiful! I'm so excited. I better go lie down a while.

Ernie

Yeah, you do that, Bert.

Bert

Oh -- thank you, Ernie!

Ernie

Yeah.

Bert

Oh, oh, Figgy Fizz!  [ Bert rushes off, kissing his bottle cap. ]  Mwa! Oh boy!

Ernie

Yeah, well... it sure has been an exciting day, hasn't it.  [ Ernie sits down and sighs. ]